radio – Page 3 – Mick and Liesel's Antics

Trouble with lifts

After much prevarication and decision-making, weather-watching and umming and ahhing, Liesel and I drove over to Alderley Edge where we met up with Jenny and Liam and the children. We had a nice walk, Martha and William had a nice run, and it stayed dry for us. They are very adventurous but sometimes, when they’re close to the edge of a sharp drop, over the edge, so to speak, at least one of us will tell them to stop running, to step back, and generally stop giving us heart attacks.

The adventure playground was quite challenging, and both the children made the most of it. Martha’s other main activity was collecting fir cones. The acorns were still very small, but later in the year, she’ll be fighting the squirrels for them.

William was very proud of his new wellies, so coating them in mud was of course top of his agenda. He also enjoyed his time halfway to the centre of the Earth, in a big crevice.

One reason we like Alderley Edge is that it’s hilly, and it’s interesting geologically. And there are some nice views too.

We are watching Designated Survivor on TV at the moment. The first series was good, as tense and gripping as the first two or three series of Homeland. The second series is good too, but there are more holes in the storylines and bad script decisions. We’ll see it through to the end of the third series, but after that, they don’t need to make any more episodes just for us, thank you! There goes my new career as a TV critic.

We were up early to collect the children. The plan was to go into Manchester by bus, but after waiting for over twenty minutes, we resorted to Plan B. We drove to Sale Water Park and caught a tram into Manchester. There have been strikes on our local buses, but we shouldn’t have been affected today. William’s first response on being told we would travel by tram was, ‘I don’t like trams’. As soon as he saw one, ‘Oh, I really love trams’. It was their first journey by tram, although we didn’t realise that at the time. No seats available at this busy time of day, and presumably many other people whose buses had gone AWOL, so we had to stand, and the children were just as excited about that as they were about being on a tram in the first place! Martha was also fascinated when the tram went along a road, with cars and everything.

Our first port of call was the Castlefield Viaduct, but we were too early, it wasn’t open. We decided to come back later. Let’s go down to look at the Roman ruins then. William wanted to go down in the lift. So we did. A very slow, ricketty lift. At ground level, the door opened, but we couldn’t get out. Someone had forgotten to take the padlock off the outside gate!

As Martha so succinctly put it: what’s the point of going down in a lift if you can’t get out? We went back up in the lift, and walked down the stairs, 60 of them, like we should have done in the first place!

Our next port of call was the Science and Industry Museum where we revisited the hands-on exhibits on the first floor, before having lunch.

William lost interest in the Red Arrows simulator very quickly, not one of the best exhibits really. But he did enjoy causing earthquakes to demolish buildings, or, in his case, stacks of wooden blocks. He enjoyed getting ping-pong balls to defy gravity, floating on a stream of air.

The main event of the day though was Yayoi Kusama’s exhibition, You, Me and the Balloons, that Liesel and I saw a few weeks ago. Martha had learned about Kusama at school, so she was very happy. They remembered the main rule: don’t touch the balloons.

I let Martha use my phone and she took some pretty good photos.

The queue for the Infinity Mirror Room was much longer than last time. I said I’d wait in line, and it was exciting to reach to point at which the wait was 30 minutes! Meanwhile Liesel and William looked at some other exhibits, Martha wandered round, doing handstands and somersaults.

I learned something new today. My phone camera takes a while to respond when the light levels are low. So, in the mirror room, I pressed the button while William was in shot, but it actually clicked a second later, by which time, William had left the stage!

As promised, we returned to the Viaduct. Martha and William were quite interested in the plants, but mainly, they enjoyed sitting down to draw pictures.

On this visit, neither Martha nor I could detect the smell of chocolate from this flower, although other people were able to.

The tram ride home was uneventful, the novelty of sitting and travelling backwards soon wore off for William though. Before taking them home, tired as they may have been, they welcomed the offer of visiting the playground in Wythenshawe Park. I don’t know where they get their energy from, Liesel and I just wanted to sit down and watch them running around. And climbing to the toppest top of the climbing frame.

The Wednesday walk was well attended this week, just the usual wander through the woods.

In the afternoon, I visited the Wythenshawe Radio studio from where I co-presented a ‘live’ show with Sarah-Jane. Her Dad, Roy, owned record shops in Manchester in the 1960s and beyond, and the two of them present a show together once a month. In between, S-J invites other folks to join her in the studio. I selected 16 records to play, and we had a nice chat for a couple of hours. I was reminded why I like presenting live, even if a couple of words did elude me in the heat of the moment. Tears were shed in the studio. Today is was the anniversary of Elvis Presley’s passing, and S-J’s Dad was a big fan. And after picking a Sinéad O’Connor song a few weeks ago, Sinéad passed away, which shocked us all, but I didn’t want to change my selections. You can listen to Sarah-Jane’s Happening here on Mixcloud, I make an appearance about 50 minutes in.

I then joined a few other volunteers for further training on the Myriad system, the software used to send on Wythenshawe Radio. When I got home, I was worn out. Myriad 6 Anywhere is a complete, web based interface for controlling every aspect of a radio station.

The Thursday walk was as usual, longer, through the woods and parks of Wythenshawe.

And I travelled into Manchester again to donate some blood, which is why I consumed a very creamy coffee and a millionaire’s shortbread ahead of time. Glad to say I’m still a ‘fast bleeder’ so I didn’t have to wait too long for my post-donation biscuits.

In the evening, Liesel enjoyed a birthday party for a 90-year old lady, and she didn’t come home drunk, nor full of ice cream and jelly. Happy birthday, Eve!

The organised Friday walk was cancelled this week, so Liesel and I picked Michael up from the Lifestyle Centre, and we enjoyed a nice, long walk around Sale Water Park amd beyond.

And yes, we did stop for a coffee at the pub!

Later that day, Liesel met up with a friend, Audrey, in Didsbury, for a quick chat, lasting several hours. Meanwhile, some people might have been listening to Mick’s Music Mix on Wythenshawe Radio. Ups and Downs, that was the theme of the show, and you can catch up here. That’s a lot of me on the radio this week!

Watching Matilda

Suddenly, sunflowers have sprung up all over the neighbourhood. Even Martha and William have pet sunflowers at the moment.

I like sunflowers, not only because they follow the Sun across the sky, and they bring joy whenever you see them, but they are mathematically very satisfying. If you look at the seeds and count the spirals, in any direction, you’ll always find it’s a Fibonacci number. I know this, but I still feel the need to check, just in case nature’s made a mistake.

We didn’t venture far afield this week, too busy at home. But I think we mostly got in our 10,000 steps a day, in Northenden and Wythenshawe.

And hello, Gypsy Ryan, welcome to the world, lots of love to you and new parents Bambi and Brett, friends of Helen in New South Wales. We look forward to meeting you all at some point!

Martha has been asking for a while to revisit Quirky Misfits and this week, Jenny brought her and William along. Coffee and cake were as usual welcome. William wanted to play the games, including Connect 4.

He was very nonchalent about beating me, fair and square, to the point where for a moment, I wondered whether he even realised he’d won the game!

Martha didn’t want to have her picture taken while holding the I Smell Children cushion, no idea why. But she was happy to show off her blue tongue, from the slushy, diluted blue food dye beverage.

Unfortunately, for personal reasons, this coffee shop is closing down in a few weeks time, but I hope the children can come along one more time at least.

We wandered around the corner to the playground in Riverside Park which was fun, although we were all disappointed by the amount of litter flying about. Yes, the bins were full, but some of that stuff had never spent time in a litter bin.

William likes playing hide and seek so we hid and sought for a while, in my case, taking my step count for the day to over 20,000, in case you’re taking notes.

After Jenny and the children left Northenden, Liesel and I walked home, trying to decide where to eat. We got as far as Viet Guy and thought, we’ve been meaning to try this place for years.

The food was very nice, and very filling. Next time, we’ll probably share a starter. It was good to see Vietnamese, or at least, south Asian, people among the clientele.

There’s a photo on the wall, inside the restaurant, of paddy fields. My plan was to take a picture of this, and then write about the new rice-growing paddy fields in Northenden since we’ve been having so much rain recently. In the end, I forgot. And, after such a satisfying meal, it was a long old slog, walking home.

Surprise of the Week. I’m reading some PG Wodehouse stories at the moment, and I was indeed very surprised to see this:

I thought that construction, ‘something something – not!’ was a recent American innovation. You live and learn. This was as earth-shattering to me as when I read Charles Dickens supposedly incorrect use of the word ‘literally’.

Who did we see in concert this week? Well, Martha and William as it happens. All week, they’ve been at the local Dance School, rehearsing and designing the set for their production of Matilda. We joined Jenny and Liam and the other grandparents Alan and Una for an afternoon’s entertainment. Our two did very well, but all sixty children put on a really good show. I resisted the temptation to sing along to School’s Out, and that was to everyone’s benefit.

Martha’s contribution to Matilda’s school library

Earlier, I suggested that’d we’d been quite busy this week. Well, Liesel was doing some actual work, while I was putting together a radio show. At Liesel’s suggestion, the theme this week was Rain. And between us, we came up with over 4 hours of songs about Rain. What to discard? Well, in the end, none. I sent a two-hour show to Wythenshawe Radio as usual, but I uploaded a much longer edition of the show onto Mixcloud. If you have nothing better to do, you can listen to four and a bit hours of Rain-soaked music here.

Imagine my horror and disappointment then, when, watching TV a few days later, they played Joe Brown and the Bruvvers singing Teardrops in the Rain. That would have been a perfect song to play in my own show, if only I’d remembered it. Oh well, listen out for Volume 2, I guess — not!

PSA: I am still trying to work out why for some people, on some devices, under some circumstances, sometimes, my images appear distorted. As an experiment this week, I have not edited the pictures after uploading them to WordPress. Please let me know if you experience changes. Thank you! If the pictures still appear in the incorrect aspect ratio, then I know I can point the finger at WordPress. Please let me know one way or the other, thank you!

Stench and the Dial of Destiny

One of the things we like about living where we do is the oak tree outside. It sheds dead wood now and then, but so far, the falling logs haven’t bonked anyone on the bonce. Nor did that large branch land on the car parked in the wrong place in the communal car park. We enjoy watching the magpies at play and sometimes fighting, or is that foreplay? And the squirrels: I think there are at least two, one of whom sits sedately when we walk by, while the other one scampers up the tree as soon as we appear. We don’t see many acorns, maybe the squirrels grab them and hide them first. But this week, our tree sprouted something very unusual.

It was meant to be a night out for Liam’s birthday, but sadly, he and Jenny weren’t feeling on top of the world. So Liesel and I used the tickets. We enjoyed an evening of The Best of British Pop Music, played by the Hallé Orchestra, at Bridgewater Hall in Manchester. Pop songs from the last 70 years. We enjoyed it although I personally wouldn’t label some of the chosen songs ‘The Best of British’.

The MC was a certain Ken Bruce, who broadcast on BBC Radio 2 for over thirty years, before recently jumping ship to Greatest Hits Radio. It was good to see him, and he was quite funny.

The vocalists were Laura Tebbutt (who I’ve heard of) and Jon Boydon (not sure) and they did a good job of interpreting the songs. The orchestra was conducted by David Arnold, composer of many James Bond tunes, musical director for the 2012 London Olympics and Paralympics, not to mention being on Björk’s first album, Debut, and all-round good egg.

Laura Tebbutt, Jon Boydon and David Arnold

Yes, I feel bad that Liam and Jenny missed the show, but we’re glad the tickets didn’t go to waste!

More live music was seen the following afternoon at Boxx2Boxx. The big surprise though, in passing, was seeing the local Tesco Express all shuttered up.

Later in the week, there was hoarding all around the site, so I think some refurbishment must be taking place, although I’m surprised we didn’t see any publicity in advance.

Anyway, back to Boxx2Boxx, where Zha Olu played for two hours, with a break at halftime, and despite the intermittent rain.

She performed a wide variety of songs, including one by Oasis, two by the Bee Gees; Fleetwood Mac, Britney Spears, Cher, Katy Perry, Amy Winehouse, Killers were all represented.

Quite a few of us were sitting outside, and the rain didn’t deter us. Those two, like me, didn’t have coats. But someone walked down the road and acquired ponchos at the Pound Shop. I assume the hats came from there too. It was a great atmosphere, and I hope there’ll be more music here sometime, and I hope we get to see Zha Olu again at some point. Look her up on YouTube!

This picture was put up on Instagram later: see if you can spot Mick.

We haven’t had visitors for a while, so it was nice to collect Helen and Steve from Gatley Station, so much easier than from Manchester Piccadilly. They’d been in the Lake District for a bit and even as far afield as The Isle of Man.

We ate dinner at The Metropolitan in Didsbury, a nice veggie burger in my case, since you ask. But have some sympathy for Helen and Steve who both wanted fish and chips: alas, the restaurant had sold out!

Why did I take this picture of an old advert hanging in the toilet? Because the model closely resembles my Dad at a young age, and he did indeed use Brylcreem.

Then off to Parrs Wood Cineworld where we watched the newly released Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny. It was great fun, and I was pleasantly surprised to hear a Beatles and a David Bowie song in the soundtrack.

Despite the threat of wet weather, we visited Quarry Bank Mill for a bit of a walk, and a wander around the Mill itself.

The dahlias looked good in the rain, and what a coincidence: I just started reading a PG Wodehouse book in which Bertie Wooster’s Aunt Dahlia looms large.

Our visit to the Mill itself took up so much time, that our planned tour of the Apprentices’ House never happened. We’ll get there one day.

We drove Helen and Steve to Leigh where they spent one night and visited a friend before taking the train home.

Liesel attended the WI Craft meeting, with her decorated fairy door, which, I have to say, was much better than all the others on display. I’m sure the fairies prefer it too.

When we walked Hadrian’s Wall in May, Liesel grew a huge blister on her little toe. Fortunately, this was on the final day of the hike. Fast forward to this week. Her toenail fell off. There’s no other way to break the slightly gruesome news. The toe with the big blister shed its nail. Liesel put in under her pillow, but sadly, there’s no such thing as a toenail fairy.

The regular Wednesday walk didn’t take place this week: instead, I returned to the optician to repeat one of the tests. I did better this time. I hope I don’t have to bother the optician for another year.

In the afternoon, we collected Martha and William from school, and brought them home, where they decorated their own fairy doors.

After dinner, we took a pair of tired children home, and against all odds, they didn’t fall asleep in the car.

The Thursday walk was also cancelled, but we both joined Michael on a slightly truncated walk around Wythenshawe, finishing in good time for Liesel to make her physio appointment. In the end, she was so early, that she had time for a bit of a walk in Gatley Carrs. Meanwhile Michael and I enjoyed a coffee in the usual place.

Friday, I returned to Manchester University to help with someone’s MRes research, well, I hope I helped.

When I got home, the predicted rain had stopped, so we went for a walk. One thing we didn’t expect to see was someone camping on Northenden Village Green.

We walked along the river and through the woods, all the way to Wythenshawe Park. I wondered whether any of the coins that I secreted a couple of weeks ago were still available. I remembered some of my hiding places, and I’m pleased that many of the coins had been been discovered. I hope people were sufficiently curious to look up online to see what The Find was all about.

On Wythenshawe Radio, my show’s theme was Memories, songs about memories and forgetting. You can catch it here: don’t forget.

A couple of weeks ago, we went out somewhere and noticed that the car stunk of garlic. Where’s it coming from? Maybe a dropped bite from a service station sandwich? We looked all around the vehicle, but couldn’t work out where the smell was coming from.

In the boot of the car, we have a big black bag, a carry-all bag, with lots of bits and pieces in it, shopping bags now known as ‘bags for life’, our litter pickers and pink council-approved plastic bags for picked litter, plus some other paraphernalia. No, nothing in there was responsible for the odour.

Before our visitors, Helen and Steve, arrived, I took the car in to be washed and valeted inside. I thought whatever the source of the aroma would be hoovered up. The car was nice and clean. And before picking our visitors up from the station, to make room for their luggage, we put the carry-all in the cupboard under the stairs in our block. Nobody goes in there, except the electric meter reader once every six months.

After Helen and Steve had left us, and a couple of days after hosting the grandchildren at home, we thought it was time to retrieve the bag. When I opened the door to the cupboard under the stairs, I was engulfed in a miasma of stench. Garlic. Aha! So, whatever the source of the malodour, we’d pretty much proved it must be in the black bag after all. And, indeed, we realised that we’d not complained about a smelly car at all this week.

We went through the contents of the bag, slowly, methodically, meticulously, one item at a time. And guess what we found in an old, padded but torn, cool bag? A clove of garlic. Why? How did it get there? Our theory is that it’s been there since we took some ingredients with us on our trip to Wales in May. May! It’s been festering in a cool bag, in a black bag, in the boot of the car, in the heat, for over two months! Phew, what a stench. The bag in question has been not so ceremoniously dumped.

My original note was mistyped:
Just one Clive og garlic

Coins, cone, kine

‘Do something scary every day.’ I’ve said it before and I’m sure I’ll say it again. I also interpret that maxim to mean, ‘Say Yes when it would be so easy to just say No.’ So, when Chantel asked for volunteers to do something at 8 o’clock on a Saturday morning, my first thought was ‘no way, José’, but I actually vocalised: ‘Yes, put my name down.’

I woke up nice and early, but drifted off again before the alarm woke me up with a jolt.

Breakfast gave me the energy to walk over to Wythenshawe Park where before making contact with anybody, I found this chap who expressed my mood beautifully.

As part of Manchester International Festival, artist Ryan Gander invited audiences to undertake a quest across the city in search of his latest artworks. Hundreds of thousands of collectable coins will be hidden in plain sight across Manchester, each embellished with words offering guidance on daily decisions.

Abi from Factory International presented me with a bag of 250 coins to hide in Wythenshawe Park. As requested, I left some in plain sight on park benches, walls, posts and pillars, and many in more secluded locations, on trees for example. Some coins will be found easily, some will glint in the Sun, and attract people’s attention. Ryan Gander and I invite all of Manchester to go out and explore, look for hidden coins, right up to 16th July. I suspect some will be there for many years to come. I know of one that fell down, inside a hollow tree. That’ll confuse a future archeologist! Yes, I feel very special being involved with a work of art, even at a distance.

As well as distributing coins, I was also acquiring a good step count for the day. Compensation for those times I don’t move far from the sofa at home!

Coffee and cake were very welcome. Just a slice of Victoria sponge, please. Well, what I got in the box was the biggest slice of cake I’ve ever had to deal with in a public space. Not complaining, but I really needed Liesel to help out with her fork. She was instead with the ladies of the WI.

The local wildlife weren’t that impressed with events, so much so, they stayed out of focus.

Later on, I clapped as hundreds of people ran past, taking part in a 10km run. From their facial expressions, not everyone was enjoying it too much.

After a long walk in the park, it was time to move on. I caught a bus to Cheadle and started walking towards Martha’s and William’s school. As I was passing the Village swimming pool, I took advantage of the opportunity to use their facilities. I noticed Liam’s car in the car park and deduced, therefore, that the children were swimming. Actually, they would have just finished. So I waited for them to emerge from the changing rooms and I was delighted to hear that most searching of questions from Martha: ‘What’s Grandad doing here?’

We drove to the school and I paid for entry to their School Summer Fair. Spiderman was there and he has the ability to make small children levitate, which is a cool trick.

In the chocolate tombola, I won a big bar of Cadbury’s chocolate that, spoilers, Liesel and I polished off within three days.

Martha and William had fun on the bouncy castles, until the latter were deflated and tied down when it became too windy.

Jenny was there already and when she told me there were no hot drinks on sale here today, I threatened to complain to the committee. Don’t you dare, she warned, as a prominent member of said committee!

A splendid time was had by all, and I made my way home by bus. Two buses in fact, with another long walk between.

On Sunday, Liesel and I went into Manchester city centre. Our first port of call was the Science and Industry Museum. More specifically, the café, for a coffe and a spot of lunch. I wonder why lunches come in spots?

There’s a small exhibition here about Stephen Hawking and his theoretical physics work. They’ve even preserved his blackboard from Cambridge.

According to The Guardian: The Cambridge cosmologist, who died in 2018 at the age of 76, treasured a blackboard that became smothered with cartoons, doodles and equations at a conference he arranged in 1980. But what all the graffiti and in-jokes mean is taking some time to unravel.

Our final desination we knew was somewhere behind the museum. Down a road that Google Maps doesn’t even know about yet. The directions to Versa Studios given in the email were very precise. And when we were close, it was reassuring to see directing arrows on the black hoarding, leading us to the right place. It’s all happeneing here, in and near Festival Square, all part of Manchester International Festival.

The show we watched was Kagami, in which we enjoyed a hologram projection of Japanese composer Ryuichi Sakamoto playing several of his compositions on the piano. We had to wear special goggles that revealed Ryuichi, but allowed you see other members of the audience as we were able to walk around the projection. Sadly, Ryuichi passed away in March so he never saw the final version of the show, but I hope he saw enough to know how good it would be.

As he began to play Merry Christmas Mr Lawrence, I told Liesel that was my favourite, and it seemed to be very popular as it was the only piece to attract a generous round of applause. Clapping a ghost, hmmm.

Don’t ask me to explain why his music sounds Japanese, but it does, it just evokes the sights and smells and sounds of that fascinating country.

Yes, it is weird looking at a picture of a group of people standing around, all apparently looking at absolutely nothing.

On July 3rd, 1973, I was not at Hammersmith Odeon to witness the final one of 180 shows played by Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars. Famously, not only was it the last show of the tour, it was the last show they’d ever do. So announced David Bowie before playing the final song, Rock ‘n’ Roll Suicide.

Well on the fiftieth anniversary of that gig, Liesel and I witnessed the Global Premiere of the Film of that Concert. Not at Hammersmith Odeon unfortunately, but closer to home, at Cineworld, Parrs Wood. Global premiere? Yes, this would be the first showing of the whole concert, including a couple of songs missed out before, and the whole of special guest Jeff Beck’s performance. I can feel Liesel’s eyes roll as I write this and I know they will when she reads it later, but these details are important.

I no longer own it, but a few months later, I purchased a bootleg recording of the show at the wonderful, atmospheric, aromatic, long gone Kensington Market.

There was a piano introduction by Mike Garson, and a panel discussion about David Bowie, but for whatever reason, we only joined the event part-way through the discussion. It was OK, but nothing to write home about. I enjoyed the film immensely, Liesel not so much, especially the long guitar solos by Mick Ronson while David Bowie took a long time to change outfits!

We haven’t seen a rainbow here in Northenden for a while, but I captured this one before it disappeared behind the bin cupboard.

I caught a bus into Manchester to help with someone’s research. So glad I got an early bus, it took ages, as it had to make a long, slow detour for some reason. And even though the windows were open, the bus ride was ridiculously, uncomfortably hot. So my first task on arrival in the big city was to buy a bottle of water. Yes, I could have taken a water bottle with me from home, but that would have entailed thinking ahead, planning and remembering to pick the bottle up. But it didn’t even cross my mind.

I saw a few new graduates around town and I resisted the temptation to high-five anyone, but who knows, maybe some of them had been taught by Jenny at some point. I also wondered whether Jenny at some point had taught the Masters Researcher whom I was seeing today. Unlikely though, as she earned her first degree in Leeds.

I found my way over to the Division of Neuroscience and Experimental Psychology, part of the School of Biological Sciences within the University of Manchester.

The study is around factors affecting observation and imagination of computer-based actions in people with Parkinson’s and older adults. They want ‘old’ people, over 50 years of age. And they want people who use two fingers to type, not touch-typists.

I did a few tests on paper, typed a lot of words under various conditions, imagined typing words, and conducted a few other tests. I hope my results are useful. Especially if, in the end, it leads to some way of helping folks with Parkinson’s.

The bus ride home was just as long and devious and weary.

This week’s Wythenshawe Radio show had the theme: Sweets. I was thinking sweeties, candy, chocolate, honey, sugar. I can feel my teeth rotting as I write that sentence. I asked my dentist to come on and talk about teeth and, well, about being a dentist. But I was out of luck: she was about to fly off for a holiday. Oh well. If, like me and Liesel, you didn’t hear the show on WFM 97.2 on Friday afternoon, you can catch up on a slightly extended version here.

So, those coins, what do they look like? Each one in the set of three has one word on each side, which you can use to guide your future choices. Heads or tails?

Menagerie

I don’t know if Liesel was surprised or not, but I got up in time to have breakfast and then walk with her to Didsbury, for her weekly coffee and chat with the ladies of the WI. We had a pleasant walk by the river to Didsbury. Some of the grass on the bank has been cut back, but there was a healthy barrier between the path and the river. That didn’t prevent all the dogs from jumping in the water, though.

Suddenly, amongst all the nettles and brambles and grass and thistles, one solitary red poppy grabbed our attention. It was vibrant, at just the right angle to the Sun, its intensity doesn’t really show up in the photo.

In the Metropolitan, we ordered our coffees at the bar. Where are you sitting? Liesel’s over there, with the WI ladies, and I’m over there, a few tables away. Why aren’t you sitting together? Several responses came to mind and I opted for, well, I failed the audition to join the WI.

So I sat over there, drank my coffee, studied my phone, and then walked home. On the way, I saw a tank parked up. It’s been there a long time, Liesel told me later, I just hadn’t walked along that road for a while.

A bit extreme, I thought. The potholes are bad around Manchester, yes, but an armoured vehicle is a bit OTT.

The squirrel greeted me when I arrived at home. For years, his instinct has been to run up the tree whenever he sees me. Maybe he thought I couldn’t see him, under the bush. Even when I accidently let the front door slam shut, he didn’t budge.

In the evening, we went over to Jenny’s for a Chinese takeaway. This was Helen’s last evening in England, before flying back home early on Sunday.

Liesel’s task for the day was to finish the pelican that she’d been crocheting for a long time. Why a pelican? And why the rush?

Well, Helen’s BFF Bambi in Australia is expecting a baby in a couple of months, and the pelican will be one of the young joey’s first cuddly toys.

The pelican is bigger than anticipated, it’s hard to gauge the size from a small picture. The stitch-count in the intructions should be a clue, but it just grew and grew, it sprouted feet and wings and of course, a big bill. A funny old bird is the pelican. Its bill can hold more than its belly can.

Liesel fought against finger cramp and RSI and pins and needles not to mention the heat but she’s a star. The pelican was completed, stuffed, sewn up and it accompanied us to Jenny’s in Cheadle Hulme.

Liesel’s dilemma was: could she bear to make another pelican should a request be received? Or would she prefer to stick to smaller projects. In any case, Liesel put away the crochet needles for a few days to give her digits a chance to recover.

Another problem was: Helen now had to fit the pelican into her already full bag.

Liesel and I collected the food from the local Chinese takeaway and we all had a very nice meal. I suspect some people had leftover Chinese for breakfast and/or lunch the following day!

Before we left, Helen and Jenny both gave me Fathers’ Day cards and chocolates, a total surprise as I’d forgotten it was that time of year. Thank you very much!

And as Helen flew away into the sunrise, Liesel and I wondered who would entertain us now? Mom, Jyoti, Helen, all come and now gone. No more visitors for a while. We might have to make our own fun.

Well, I wouldn’t call it fun, but the new printer stopped working. The problem was rectified within a couple of days, that’s great customer service from Cartridge Save, but HP as an organisation are pretty evil. Installing firmware in my printer, that I paid for, that detects non-HP ink cartridges and prevents it from working. Imagine Sodatreams only working with Evian water but not tap water. Or your car only running with one brand of petrol. It wouldn’t be allowed under decent competition laws. But HP? Huh. That’s my whinge of the week.

We missed the weekly Wednesday walk again. The Royal Cheshire County Show was happening, and Liesel had volunteered to help the WI in their tent. Her job was to make sandwiches. I said I’d go along with her, to offer moral support, and to wander round the exhibits.

It’s a two-day event and we were there on the second day. The traffic queue to get into the car park was ridiculously long. But we got there in the end. On disembarking from the car and embarking on the long hike to the show site itself, we were greeted by the biggest, blackest cloud ever.

At that moment, it didn’t feel like it was going to rain and of course, neither of us had waterproofs.

But it did rain. It poured. It was torrential. Liesel and I ducked into a tent with hundreds of other people, and some cattle. Teeming doesn’t cover it. It was a short storm, but long enough to turn all the paths and fields to mud. I had trainers on, but Liesel’s sandals were no match for that kind of weather. So, in a way, standing inside a tent for over three hours making sandwiches was a blessing.

We found the WI tent and, when the rain eased off, I went for a wet, muddy walk, to see what was on offer. It’s a very popular show, and much bigger than the equivalent shows we’d visited in Guildford when we were children.

The Cheshire Area of the National Association of Flower Arrangement Services had a great display of prize-winning arrangements.

I wonder how many hours work went into this one?

While drinking a coffee and eating my Bakewell tart, I enjoyed music from the Sandbach and District U3A Brass Band. Apart from anything else, it made me wonder whether we should have another go at joining U3A. Last time we did that, a pandemic ensued, so I’m not sure we should risk it again.

It was jolly decent of their majesties King Charles and Queen Camilla to turn up in their gold carriage, and park up outside the Cheshire WI tent.

Actually, it wasn’t the real King and Queen. They, the soldiers standing guard and even the horse were all scarecrows made using the traditional materials of wood and straw, with the addition of a covering of weather protecting bin bags. They are dressed in recycled clothing. The decoration and badges on the uniforms were created from bits and pieces of haberdashery and discarded jewellery.

Further afield, I found a funfair, lots of food stalls, a few charities seeking support, and lots of horses.

You might be wondering, which was my favourite horse? Well I think it’s this white one with a very long tail.

When I saw this big dish in the distance, I wondered whether it was the Sir Bernard Lovell telescope at Jodrell Bank. But, looking at a map afterwards, we were probably too far away.

Eventually I did find the farm animals. A little bit stinky, of course, but nothing like the tent with the pigeons, rabbits and cavies. The wall of ammonia that I walked into there drove me away instantaneously. Anyway, back to the farm animals.

The horns on this ram looked plastic. I didn’t get too close to investigate, I’m not that brave, but I did wonder whether they were 3D-printed and stuck on.

I went back to find Liesel soon after 2pm, and we wandered around together for a bit. The only thing we bought, despite so much temptation, was gingerbread from the shop in Grasmere that Pauline, Andrew and I visited last year. Very nice, very gingery.

We ate an ice cream while watching the horse-drawn carriage driving competition. They drove round and round the arena, and there was no overtaking. It was no Ben Hur. But they were all very elegant.

Meanwhile, Helen flew home, met Bambi and Brett, and introduced them to the pelican.

Bambi said it’s the best present she’s had, but what’s nice is that the pelican has made friends already down under, by the looks of it, with an octopus, a teddy, a lion and a koala.

According to my sources (Helen), Brett entered the room and said “what, that’s awesome, where did that come from?! That’s my favourite for sure.”

Helen’s no longer sure the baby will actually receive the pelican. This controversy will no doubt be discussed and resolved at length in the weeks and months to come. Anyway, congratulations, good luck and lots of love to Bambi and Brett and bump from Liesel and me.

It was a hot walk through the Wythenshawe woods, just the five of us this week. Followed by a cold drink in the coffee shop, unusual for me, but becoming more common as the hot weather continues.

At home this week, I have been making good progress on the computer, with the long-term project known as ‘sorting out the photos’. It’s amazing how much work, much of it repetitive, is required after having one zapped SD card and having to change phones. I hope you never have to recover photos from Google’s cloud storage. It’s not intuitive, it’s not easy, it’s not straightforward, it’s time-consuming and you’re never sure you have everything. I’m so glad I had my own backup copies.

In this week’s radio show, I listed the many local Festivals that are taking part in the coming weeks. If you missed it on Wythenshawe Radio WFM 97.2, you can catch it here.

Steel Rigg to Gilsland to Irthington to Carlisle to Bowness on Solway

After leaving the Twice Brewed Inn, we had to retrace our steps to pick up Hadrian’s Wall Path again. First though, let’s take some photos outside.

And, a little bit later, I took the opportunity to cut Liesel’s chin off again.

We made good progress and enjoyed the views. Looking back on one occasion, Liesel spotted a small animal poking its nose out of the wall. The stoat emerged, ran across the field and disappeared into the distance. How exciting to see a wild animal rather than a farmyard favourite.

We passed Winshields, the halfway point and highest position on Hadrian’s Wall. This wasn’t the time nor place for a big party to celebrate, though. Still: all downhill from here then, right? No, no and thrice no. In fact, very shortly afterwards, at the top of another hill, we came across a trig point.

From this point heading west, the Roman Wall was much narrower than it had been. It seems it was taking too long to complete the massive building project, so the legionnaires found a way to make quicker progress. So fast in fact, that they left behind bags of stones and rocks that can still be found today. Jyoti tried to shift one, but other than make us laugh, her efforts were in vain.

Jyoti’s over the shoulder boulder holder

The Wall itself is a dominant feature, but there are plenty of other features.

I like the fact that at each of these forts and turrets, there’s a descriptive sign showing us what the structure used to look like. Many of the missing stones have been used over hundreds of years to build other walls, houses and barns. Recycling at its best. A good example is shown here. The old Roman stones are being used to protect the more worn paths, especially on the slopes.

Today’s route, though shorter, was also described as strenuous. And indeed it was. I find it easier to climb than to descend, since I don’t have very good depth perception, looking down. Still being tired from yesterday didn’t help. Snack and drink water frequently, little and often, are the very basic but sensible customs to follow. Take your time. I followed all the rules and yet after this particularly hard, steep descent, carefully and slowly making my way down the uneven steps, I realised I’d had enough. I bonked. I hit the wall. I had to have a lie down for a while. In retrospect, a bit embarrassing but at the time, I just wanted to stop. In my stupor, I tried to summon up a rescue helicopter.

To be fair, Liesel and Jyoti aren’t laughing at my predicament, but I am so grateful for their support, feeding and watering me like I’m an old nag destined for the glue factory. Teresa and Tammy at this point were quite far ahead and it made sense for them not to wait for us.

After a while, I was able to continue. Slow and steady. Northumberland National Park needs our help. They want us to let them know of all the reptiles we encountered: vipers, slow worms and lizards. Well, my personal total was zero, so that won’t take too long.

Walltown Crags. The crags would have been a challenge to climb, so I’m glad our path went in the opposite direction. Thirlwall Castle was quite an imposing sight. There was a short hill which I decided to pass on. Liesel and Jyoti went up for a closer look while I had a rest on the stone direction sign, which probably didn’t help those folks hiking in the opposite direction to us.

Soon after this, another wildlife bonanza. We saw bunnies and a family of geese with a cute little gosling. It was about this point when I realised how flexible miles are in this area. 3 miles to go. Walk for half an hour. Then another sign saying 3 miles to go. Later, Google Maps suggests 1.8 miles to go. We met a hiker who was carrying a huge backpack. He said he’d walked 18 miles so far today and had a couple of hours to go. I kept schtum, I didn’t want to tell him how hard I’d found the last several miles. But he was philosophical about the whole thing: “The pain’s constant but the views change”.

1.5 miles to our destination, Gilsland. A couple of bridges, a burn, and we thought we were getting close. Liesel called Teresa to say we were close, about a quarter of a mile away. Teresa said it’s probably nearer three quarters.

Brookside Villa must be the most attractive b&b in the whole world. At least, it was today, to me. Right place, right time.

Liesel and I were given the penthouse suite, which meant walking up more stairs. But when I got up at about 1.30am for my usual nocturnal biological demands, I noticed, through the skylight, a nice dark sky and stars. I was so excited, despite being tired and it being the middle of the night, that I got my phone and took a picture of The Plough or Big Dipper. Not the most exciting astrophotography, I know, but I was happy. Not so happy about knocking a glass of water over in the process, but stuff happens.

The day we walked from Gilsland to Irthington wasn’t marked as strenuous. And after yesterdays’ incident, I was quite prepared to walk more slowly if necessary, and I definitely programmed myself to eat and drink more often.

Over the course of their occupation, the Romans built three bridges over the River Irthing at Willowford, each more sophisticated than the previous one.

What an astonish feat of design and construction. Imagine then our slight disappointment when, to cross the river, we had to walk across this modern one. Built in 1999 and I doubt there’ll be evidence of it in 1700 years’ time.

It was a lovely warm day, and so quite refreshing occasionally to take shelter in the woods for a minute. I felt very lucky not to be suffering from blisters on my feet, but the four lambs had to deal with this issue to a lesser or greater degree. While tending to their wounds, I snacked and imbibed.

I’m sure this fallen log has a few tales to tell, but I chose a different one to perch on. Out in the countryside, a few birds and animals hung around, but the biggest surprise was coming across an Honesty Snack Shed. Snacks and drinks for sale, and an honesty box for the payment.

The signs continue to inform and educate, but ridiculous as it sounds, I did find myself thinking sometimes, ‘another one’? We agreed that it would be nice if they could reconstruct one of these forts fully, since all we see in general are just a few layers of stones giving an idea of the building’s layout.

Piper Sike, Turret 51a, a frontier watchtower. This was a stone tower built by the
Emperor Hadrian’s army around AD 122. It originally stood within the turf section of Hadrians Wall which extended 31 Roman miles (44km) from the river lrthing to Bowness-on-Solway. After a few years the turf was replaced by a stone wall part of which abuts the turret’s west wall.

We made friends with a couple of donkeys named Hamish and Dougal. Naturally I asked ‘You’ll have had your tea?’ (Look up I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue and indeeed Hamish and Dougal’s own shows on Radio 4, some now on YouTube.)

And so it came to pass, no, that’s not right… And so, we came to pass Hare Hill, a precious fragment of Hadrian’s Wall, at the same time as a couple of ladies approached from the opposite direction. Megan and her friend were walking from west to east and this was excitingly their first sighting of the Wall. Which meant, it was to be our last. From now on, the Wall would be hidden from us, even if we were actually walking on top of it.

Another thing you don’t expect to find in the middle of nowhere is a shop selling t-shirts. I didn’t buy one, but this one summarises the whole walk quite nicely, I think.

Someone who deserves at least a knighthood is the man (and I’m sure it was a man, no woman would be so daft) who walked the length of Hadrian’s Wall one day some years ago, planting nettles underneath nearly every gate and stile making passage that much more difficult, especially for those of us with bare legs trying to squeeze through a small gap.

Time for another sit down.

Look/Seek for something Beautiful every day

Walking via Newtown, a hamlet very proud of its Cumbria in Bloom awards between 2008 and 2014, we walked down to The Sally in Irthington. Amy supplied ice for Jyoti’s ankle and generally looked after us.

All week, in fits and starts, Liesel has been crocheting a jellyfish. She attached the final tentacles this evening and gave it to Amy who was delighted.

From our room, we could hear sheep and so sleep came very easily.

After walking on grass and mud for many miles, your feet do notice how hard an asphalt road surface is, especially towards the end of the day.

On the morning of Day 7, we had to backtrack a bit to pick up the trail again. Breakfast was big. I think the cook wasn’t used to vegetarian breakfasts, so over-compensated by giving me two huge tomatoes, three veggie sausages (that were disappointing), two eggs, no hash brown, a bowl of baked beans and (cold) guacamole which didn’t do anything for me. Plus toast. I couldn’t eat it all, but I still felt stuffed.

It was a lot more humid today too, so we were all sweating a bit. Jyoti suggested writing a limerick to mark the occasion. Walking, talking, stalking, looking around and gawking, lots of rhymes, but no single decent poem emerged.

We noticed sheep and cattle were sharing a field in some places. They stayed in their own groups or herds and there was no sign of fighting over a particularly juicy clump of grass.

We thought we’d seen the end of Hadrian’s Wall, but no. We were surprised to see a small section constructed, not from stones, but from old chariot tyres. They’re in pretty good nick for being nearly 2000 years old.

The vallum is the ditch that runs alongside the Wall, another defence against the Picts or Celts from the north.

We stopped at Crosby Church for a break, and the first gravestone I saw was that of an 18-year old girl who’d died in 2005. I want to know her story. But at the same time, I don’t. Very sad, in any case.

A wannabe topiarist had a good go at this shrub, but they need a slightly taller ladder, methinks.

After Crosby, I became aware of a much more diverse chorus of birdsong. I couldn’t identify some of them and my app, Chirp-o-Matic, only suggested three or four candidates. We heard a lot, but didn’t see very many close up. We did see flowers though.

I think it’s Scotch broom, very similar to gorse but without the thorns. And, of course, we’re never too far away from sheep, even when they try to hide behind a bush.

The river Eden would be our guide for a while as we walked by fields with row after row of polythene sheets, underneath which they’re growing, what, potatoes? I didn’t peek.

Later on, in the middle of a field, we saw another Roman fort. No, not really. What is it? Too small to be a grain store. Can’t be defensive, even with those small windows to shoot arrows through.

After a thorough, in-depth investigation, we learn that it’s a folly, and possibly a dovecote built c.1835, for George Head Head, in the grounds of Rickerby House. The tower is Grade II listed. George Head Head, now that’s someone we should know more about, not to mention his parents’ sense of humour.

Rickerby Park on the approaches to Carlisle was pleasant, and a perfect opportunity for a selfie.

We easily found our b&b which is called either Langley or Langleigh, depending on whether you believe the paperwork or the engraved stone gate post.

After dining at the Thai place in Carlisle, Jyoti walked out of her skirt. No video available. Ironic, because just a couple of days ago I’d told the story about Mrs Winter. She was the cleaner in the hall of residence where I lived in my first year at uni. You knew she was coming because of her distinctive tread. Both of her shoes squeaked but at a different pitch. One day, Nick and I happened to be following her along the corridor when her drawers fell down, squ-squeak, squ-squeak, and she just carried on and walked right out of them. There’s no video of that occasion either.

Liesel thinks her triceps are bulging now after using the walking poles for so many days. I’m sure she said Poley Moley when she noticed.

There were so many sheep in so many fields. I tried counting them but I kept falling asleep, which isn’t ideal when you’re trying to walk a long way.

On arrival at Langleigh, we couldn’t get into our rooms. Somehow, someone had double-locked the door and closed it. The only solution was to break the lock on that door. It was Sunday and so locksmiths were hard to come by. I felt bad for Yvette and Norman, but I also felt useless, there was nothing I could do to help.

Langleigh has been a b&b for 50 years, and it still retains some of that ’70s vibe. Candles were lit for breakfast, to illuminate the many, many bird ornaments and pictures that adorn the place.

There was no need to pack here in the morning for the haulage company because we’d be staying at this b&b for a second night. Carlisle isn’t that far from home, yet we’d never been before, so Liesel and I agreed to come back and explore the city properly one day.

The Sun rose on our 8th and final day walking the Hadrian’s Wall Path. It was to be the longest in distance, 15 miles along the river Eden to its confluence with the Solway, fairly flat with some undulation. The most boring section perhaps was a very long, dead straight road that might well have been Roman in origin.

But well before then, I must admit I was amused by the precision of some of the signposts.

I forgot to pack a tape measure, otherwise I might have checked it really was 236 yards.

On the first set of steps, I noticed I had calf muscles for the first time that day. We saw a lot of flowers, wild and cultivated, but sadly, very few insects. We didn’t mind not having to bat away thousands of flies like we did for a couple of days, but a few more butterflies and bees would have been nice.

We walked through what can only be described as the most sheep-shittiest field of the whole trip today. The sheep gave us funny looks as we tip-toed across their lunch. But at least we’re not taking a dump on our own dinner plates.

The directions said ‘turn left’ after the church, We did, and encountered the narrowest path of the whole trip.

Yes, there were nettles here too and somehow I managed to force myself through without being stung.

Another thing I don’t think any of us expected to find this week was a zip wire. But we did, at Beaumont Parish Hall. Did we have a go? Not all of us, but…

And we’re still finding interesting wildlife.

St Michael’s Church at Burgh-by-Sands made us welcome, even if, due to our own incompetence, we couldn’t find the supply of tap water, as advertised!

This twelfth century church was built with stones from the Roman Wall nearby. King Edward I came here to cross the Solway and subdue the rising under Robert the Bruce. He died on the marsh and was brought into the church to lie in state on 7 July 1307. The fortified tower was a refuge during the border raids.

The Eden joined the Solway and we saw Scotland for the first time, another landmark.

After our lunch break, we walked along the flood protection bank. I took a detour into a field where I was able to water the nettles. After which I had to briefly abandon the bank, due to a herd of cows. They were on the bank, in the ditch, walking backwards and forwards along and across the road. They weren’t at all aggressive, just a little intimidating being there in such numbers.

This was the long, dead straight road I mentioned earlier, a perfect opportunity for an entrepreneur to install a travelator.

The big disaster of the day? My shirt sleeve got caught on a hawthorn branch.

Next time we do this walk, we’ll record all the squeaky springs on all the gates and make a symphony. And we should include that bloke’s squeaky shoes too, from Day 4 or 5.

And, we’ll plan to walk both ways if it’s hot and sunny. East to west means the Sun beautifully tans the left arm. Walking back to Newcastle will darken the right arm, restoring that lovely feeling of symmetry.

I commented earlier on the flexible miles in this part of the world. We started the day knowing we had a 15-mile walk. As the day progressed, the signs told of a dimishing distance between Carlisle and Bowness.

It was good to see some seabirds on the beach around Port Carlisle. Some oyster catchers and some little or common ringed plovers, but they were a long way off. I must get a zoom lens for my phone.

Bowness on Solway. Never has the sight of a sign brought so much joy!

And yes, just a short while later, the five of us reached the end of the road.

Welcome to the end of Hadrian’s Wall Path

There were two rubber stamps to add to our passport. Except we didn’t have a passport and hadn’t seen most of the other rubber stamps along the way. I didn’t even have any paper. So, while celebrating on the rocky beach, I picked up a stone as a souvenir, and stamped it.[*]

Cantum meum canto
air seolaidhean-mara na Salmhaigh
leyke a sky-reydin burd
my heart soars high

As you walk down to the beach from the Welcome hut, there’s a handrail that bears a poem. The four lines of the poem along the handrail represent the cultural influences on Bowness on Solway: Roman Latin, Scots Gaelic, Cumbrian dialect and English. In English the poem reads:

I sing my song
of the Solway tides
like a sky-riding bird
my heart soars high.

What a perfect end to the walk. Just a short way to go now to the King’s Arms Inn for a welcome drink. We’d been cheersing each other all week, 10 opportunities to break a glass each time, but it never happened.

The barmaid (sorry if that’s not her official title, it does seem a bit old-fashioned) was kind enough to order a taxi to take us back to our b&b. Strangely, we didn’t have it in us to walk back to Carlisle.

The cab arrived and took us straight to our b&b. In the evening, we dined at The Thin White Duke. We were expecting to be entertained by the music of David Bowie, but disappointingly, that didn’t happen. There were just a couple of allusions to the great man, but the meal was great.

Jyoti managed to walk back without shedding any clothes on this occasion. We did some ironing before going to bed.

One more good night’s sleep before going home.

I’m sure we’re all very proud of our achievement, it was a fascinating, interesting and sometimes challenging hike across the country. If I do anything like this again, I hope it’s in the company of four beautiful, young, funny, supportive American women. Thank you very much, lambs!

A spot of time travel here. This week’s radio show was, inevitably, themed around Walls. You can listen here if you missed it on Wythenshawe Radio. Songs about Walls; the album of the week is Two Hearts by Mary Hopkin and Jessica Lee Morgan but that’s not all! The four lambs each picked a song to play.

[*] Sadly, the ink stamps on the stone faded very quickly, they’re totally illegible. So, if you do this hike, or any other similar one, don’t forget to take some paper so you can collect the stamps.

Terrific Pacific

After a relaxing day, we drove into Manchester. Time for a gig. We throughly enjoyed the performance by O’Hooley and Tidow at a fantastic venue, new to us, Hallé St Peters. The show was to promote their new record, Cloudheads, but of course, we’re special, and we received our CD, signed, a couple of weeks ago.

We found seats just four rows from the front and before the show proper began, we were digging the music, man, songs by Rodriguez, whose story is interesting but quite sad, really.

Belinda O’Hooley and Heidi Tidow sang songs old and new, told funny stories, and the audience was spellbound. Nobody was chatting and apart from a couple of glasses being kicked over after the interval, there was no disruption.

I had a quick chat with Belinda in the interval, told her I’d played their records on my show, and when I told her my name, Mick, she knew my surname straightaway. I’m not quite on the A-list, but getting there!

I received my postal vote: there are local elections in May. I knew who I was going to vote for, and, given all the election literature I’ve seen so far, I was beginning to think there was only one candidate standing. So what a surprise to see some others on the ballot paper. I was tempted but in the end, I didn’t vote for Sir Oink A-Lot, of The Official Monster Raving Loony Party, because, well, I’m not entirely sure he’s taking it very seriously.

In our local church, St Wilfrid’s, there was another celebration of Sir Edward Watkin. I paid Geoff for the book of his I’d bought a few nights ago and he told me about a painting that had hung at Rose Hill for many years. Someone wanted to sell it for charity, expecting to raise about £100. In the end, it was valued at £4 million.

Sir Edward funded some of the stain glass windows in the church, and they are indeed very bright, even on a cloudy grey day such as this was.

The Millennium Banner was obviously a labour of love. The wall hanging which stretches along one side of the church was made in 1999, mostly by members of the Women’s Group, to mark the turning of the millennium. It shows scenes and motifs from the history of the previous 2000 years, some very local, others national, global or even cosmic. Spoiler alert: this is how it ends:

I’d gone along because The Edward Watkin Society, also known as WatSoc, had organised the week of events. On display here today were several letter sent from or to Sir Edward. The handwriting was beautiful, and neat, but very hard to read.

While talking to someone, my phone went off. “Is that your phone?” “I think it’s everyone’s phone” I replied, because all of a sudden, the room was full of alarms.

Severe Alert, said my phone

This is a test of Emergency Alerts, a new UK government service that will warn you if there’s a life-threatening emergency nearby.

In a real emergency, follow the instructions in the alert to keep yourself and others safe.

This is a test. You do not need to take any action.

Needless to say, I took no action. But, being Brits, we all rolled our eyes and tutted at the inconvenience.

So why was I here at the church by myself? Because Liesel and Leslie were travelling south to visit cousin Andi and Steve in Richmond. Andi I think particularly wanted to catch up with her Auntie Leslie.

One morning, Liesel got up early and went for a long solitary walk taking in Richmond Hill, Petersham Common and Richmond Park.

Terrace Gardens, Richmond, overlooking the river

They all visited Bushy Park too one day, where the deer wandered over to say hello.

Let’s return to the saga of my phone. To recap: I took my phone in to have its battery changed. That worked out OK. But, the fingerprint sensor no longer worked. I went back to the shop, he couldn’t get it to work, so ordered a new sensor. A couple of days later, the new sensor didn’t work either. I would have to leave my phone with him overnight so that some internal connection could be soldered. Couldn’t do it over the weekend because it was Eid.

So, as requested, I took my phone in on Monday with a view to collecting it the following day. It wasn’t ready. In fact, it wouldn’t be back until the next day. My doubts were now growing. I insisted I needed my phone that day. Tell me where it is, and I’ll go and collect it if necessary. He didn’t want to do that. He called someone and then told me to return in the afternoon. Good thing I didn’t have a job to go back to. He said if it wasn’t back by about 3pm, he’d deliver it to my address after closing time.

I felt a wave of relief when I picked up my phone in the afternoon. Fixed. The fingerprint sensor was now working. Where’s my case? I asked. What case? The protective case that I always keep my phone in. He couldn’t find it of course. I suspect it’s still at the other, top secret venue. So he gave me case off the shelf.

I didn’t pay for anything. By now, I was so peeved, I resolved never to darken his doors again. Whether incompetent or criminal, I don’t think I can trust him again. So much so, back at home, I checked the phone for malware. I also checked that no cash had been taken from any of the online bank accounts. He wouldn’t know my passwords, and he didn’t have my fingerprint, but, I have no idea how dodgy or technically agile he and his brother-in-law are.

Later, I realised the volume controls were no longer working. I use those to take screenshots and to take photos as well as adjusting the volume. I’ll be taking my device to a proper, qualified Samsung repair facility, where I’ll have to recite this whole sorry tale, probably.

Liesel and Mom returned but they didn’t join me for the the long Thursday walk. After which, at The Forum, I saw my mugshot on the noticeboard outside the radio studio.

At least one member of my family asked if this was a Wanted poster? Is there a reward?

And the excitement is building in the area as we approach Coronation Day.

I’ll probably tweet this nearer the time but when people ask whether I’ll be watching the Coronation on TV, I usually say “No, because, by coincidence, I’m going out to get a new hat that day too.”

The three of us did join the walking group on Friday though, for one final forced march, as Klaus would have said.

And, as it was Great Oma’s final day here in England, she treated us to a meal at a Japanese restaurant over there in Cheadle Hulme. Jenny and Liam brought a very excited but tired Martha and William. The children had been introduced to Japanese cuisine while in Australia over Christmas. Today, we all enjoyed our meals, even though for a long time, Martha and I were sitting in actual warm sunshine. Even Liesel was beginning to turn pink.

Once William got going, he demolished his plate of food, and both he and Martha are very happy with sticky rice, because it’s easier to eat with chopsticks!

This week, they celebrated ANZAC Day in Australia and New Zealand, and, by coincidence, that was the theme of my Wythenshawe Radio show this week. If you would like to catch up on two hours of Aussies and Kiwis singing for your pleasure, you are very welcome to listen here.

Meetings

I don’t know why, but out of the blue, I remembered a pair of bookends that I had when I was a child. They were wooden. One had a dog and the other had a cat and, when propping up books, it looked as though the cat was about to leap over the books onto the dog. Very cute. And I thought, you don’t see bookends much any more.

It’s always a bonus when you can walk home from a gig. On this occasion, I walked up the road to Northenden Theatre to watch an evening of comedy. Plane Comedy was one of the events that made up Northenden’s Arts Festival a year or so ago. Plane Comedy returned with six comedians. The only thing wrong was, they were all men. Out of six, I can’t believe they couldn’t drag at least one female comedian along to participate. Still, it was a very good evening, hanks to Mike Carter, Charlie Lewis (yeah, him again!), Jack Miller, Ben Hodge, Eddie Fortune, Stan Ridgeway and the MC, Lewis ‘Big Lou’ Jones. I was even able to enjoy alcohol during the interval.

The next day was Mothers’ Day, something that I was totally oblivious to until Liesel mentioned it in passing. She’s still in Anchorage with her Mom and I’m glad to report there hasn’t been any more snow recently. She’s coming home soon so I’ve got to tidy up a bit, and hide evidence of all the rowdy parties I’ve enjoyed.

The first person I met during a busy week of meetings was my GP. We discussed the results of my recent echocardiogram which showed that really, there’s nothing wrong with the old ticker, and I should go back in three years’ time for another echo.

Next up, in Didsbury, I met Chris Mitchell, DJ and entertainer. We met in Didsbury and I recorded our chat for this week’s radio show. It’s his birthday this week too.

Walking the back streets of Didsbury, and guess what I came across?

That’s right, bookends, in the form of two red Ford Fiesta Zetecs. What are the chances?

To conclude a busy day, well, busy by my standards, I attended a meeting in Wythenshawe for us volunteers at the local, community radio station. I’m slowly putting faces to the names and the voices.

It was my turn to collect the children from school this week, and I took them to Quirky Misfits, the coffee shop in Northenden. Martha was delighted to be able to buy the ‘Love Potion’ pendant that she’d asked for last time. Of course, it was only fair that William buy something too. I would never have guessed that he would choose… a pair of halloween socks. ‘It’s not halloween for a long time,’ I said. ‘In this shop, it’s halloween every day,’ said Lydia! Quite right too.

There are some games in the shop too, and William recognised Ker-plunk from school. His level of concentration while putting the device together was lovely to see, even when things didn’t quite go right.

Thankfully, they were both very well bahaved, enjoyed their drinks and snacks. William had a nice brownie, while Martha went for a slice of Cookie Pie. What’s in a Cookie Pie? Cookies around the outside, cookies on the base and all filled with cookies. It was too much: Martha took half of it home in a box. A couple of days later, this advert appeared on Instagram.

Before taking them home, we went for a play in the Riverside Park playground. Yes, after all that sugar, their energy levels were maxed out. I’m not sure William’s quite got the idea of ‘slides’…

Nor of monkey bars…

Oh well!

After taking Martha and William home, I set off for Salford. Liesel and Leslie should have been with me, to watch Danny Baker again. The show was similar to the Buxton edition a few weeks ago, but as time goes on the stories change and morph. Another three and a half hours non-stop talking and pacing up and down the stage.

After the show, I asked a member of staff to take me ’round the back’ to meet Danny. He’d invited me (well, all listeners to his Treehouse podcast) to go round the back whenever we saw him.

We had a nice chat and he gave me a terrific voicenote/jingle thing for my own radio show. Tune in to hear it sometime! Of course, in the heat of the moment, I forgot to take his picture in the luxurious dressing room. And I forgot to show off my collection of the giveaways from various incarnations of his show over the years. And I think he is genuinely looking forward to retiring, to his third act.

And lo, it was my birthday. I feel I’ve had enough birthdays. So, treating it as a normal day, I went out for the second of three organised walks this week. Today’s was a bit wet. Light drizzle mostly but quite a downpour for a couple of minutes. So much so, that one of our number took a tram back to the Forum. The rest of us merely took a shortcut, missing out some potentially slippery woods.

William and Martha invited me out for a birthday meal, so I went round to their place and we all walked over to Gusto.

Very nice, very tasty, thank you.

Back to Wythenshawe next day for another walk followed by a coffee! In the afternoon, I witnessed the event of the week in Northenden. The official opening of the Little Library in the Riverside Park playground. We’d seen it there when we went to play after school, but I didn’t realise at the time that it had only been intsalled the previous day.

Anyone can leave, borrow or take books, so I hope it gets well used.

It was nice to see a few local celebrities there too, Dave the chief local litter-picker, Mary the ex-councillor and Pam the poet who recited one of her poems.

On this week’s radio show, I had a chat with Chris Mitchell (as mentioned before) and I also celebrated my birthday so if you missed it on Wythenshawe Radio, click here to catch up.

One more thing

It’s been on the to-do list for a long time, and with the luxury apartment to myself for a few weeks, this is the perfect opportunity to sort out the paperwork. I can leave piles of paper all over the floor. Organised chaos for a while! Literally thousands of sheets, mostly A4 size, have been sifted, sorted then retained, recycled or shredded. The shredding process is quite time-consuming, noisy, messy but ultimately satisfying. Maybe this could become my new money-making side-hustle. Anyone need something shredded? 10p a sheet?

There is a mountain of cardboard to be chucked out too. Sadly, some of what I thought were empty shoe boxes contain precious possessions of Liesel’s, so I’m not recovering as much space as anticipated.

Getting out for a walk has proved more challenging this week, as Winter is once again getting the last word in before going away completely. On Wednesday it started snowing, just a flurry, a smattering of snowflakes, but we still walked along the river as far as Simon’s Bridge and back. The new shops and flats in Palatine Road will, I’m sure, be nice when they’re finished, but right now, it just looks like someone is playing with oversize Meccano.

I thought I’d drift off to sleep listening to a radio drama. How long was it? According to BBC Sounds: 1339 mins! Well, it was really only 19 minutes. Three people find themselves trapped in a pitch black, flooding mine. Is this the end? ‘Danger’ or ‘The Mine Play’ is regarded as the BBC’s first ever radio drama. Originally broadcast live in February 1923, when the audience was invited to listen in the dark for maximum effect. This version was re-recorded to mark the play’s 50th anniverary. Written by Richard Hughes.

I did listen in the dark, and It was quite spooky, so it probably didn’t help me fall asleep.

In Anchorage, Liesel has been working in the office a couple of days. How she gets any work done with a view like this is beyond me.

Speed skaters encounter a moose while the mountains compete with blue skies for your attention.

I picked Martha and William up from school and both told me it had been snowing earlier in the day. We went to a different soft play place this time, Let Loose. Apart from the slides, the main attraction is the slushies. Both wanted one, a mix of Red and Blue. ‘Oh you mean slushies?’ queried the sales girl. ‘Yes, what did I say?’ ‘You asked for smoothies.’ I realised I’d probably never asked for slushies before, anywhere.

I know it’s there for safety reasons, but it’s really hard getting decent photos through the mesh. But this really is Martha and William up there.

Whingeing about the weather is what makes the world go round. While I don’t mind the cold, and I don’t mind wind, one thing that really makes me cross is cold wind blowing in one ear and out the other. But that’s what was on offer in Wythenshawe this week. Two days in a row. Cold wind blowing from left to right, regardless of whichever direction I was walking in.

The snow was never really heavy enough to show up in a photo, so here is a picture of flakes of paint thanks to some decorators in the shopping centre in Wythenshawe. On the second day, one guy was half-heartedly sweeping up their mess.

Mixed results in technical news. I couldn’t quite get the old disk drive to boot up into Windows 7 on the laptop. So close, but it gave up with scary-looking error messages that weren’t on-screen long enough to read. This was all way outside my comfort zone.

On the other hand, I was able to recover lost files from the recently zapped SD card. I guess I’ll never know whether I’ve got every single picture back, but I’m happy with the results. Message to self: backup the photos every time you take one.

This week on the old Wythenshawe Radio show, I marked International Women’s Day by playing mostly female singers. Catch up here.

All change

We often hear about the butterfly effect. Where the flap of a butterfly’s wing in Northenden can eventually result in a cyclone in the Pacific Ocean. Or as some people would have it, life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans. Well, there we were, Liesel and me, passing time on a peaceful Saturday afternoon, when the phone rang. This call was to change our plans for the next month or so.

We were preparing to welcome Liesel’s Mom to our home in a few days time. I was writing something very important, well, maybe not, when Liesel answered the phone. Her Mom’s house in Anchorage was letting in water. There had been so much snow this Winter, the roof could no longer take all the ice and snow. Water was coming in though windows and by any other route it could find. I don’t think Liesel even made the offer, she just said that she was flying over to help out.

Within a couple of hours, flights had been booked and in some cases rearranged. Liesel would fly to Anchorage the following day, and they’d both come back to the UK at the end of March.

Suddenly, our (very tenuous) plans for Sunday changed. Liesel called her cousin in Richmond, and thanks to Andi and Steve, we had accommodation close to Heathrow from where Liesel was flying out.

It took just a few minutes to pack. I was staying away from home for one night, and although Liesel’s away for a month, she has more suitable clothing in Anchorage. Several feet of snow and temperatures below -10°C do not sound very appealing to me.

We drove over to say a quick hello goodbye to Jenny and family. Martha was a bit sad that Great-Oma might not be here for her birthday (in April) but we’re fairly sure they’ll both be back by then.

In an exciting turn of events, we saw a couple of foxes in the garden, quite healthy looking animals too.

We drove to Richmond, nothing remarkable, a bit of drizzle here and there, a bit cloudy although we were driving towards the Sun on the odd occasion.

Andi and Steve took us on a bit of a pub crawl. Not because we were imbibing at every port of call, but we were looking for a pub that was still open for dinner.

We briefly visited The Prince’s Head, where they are still proud of being used as a location in the popular TV series Ted Lasso.

Liesel’s enjoyed the show and has recommended it to me, and I’m sure I’ll catch up with it one day, even though I’m not a big football fan.

We found ourselves at The Cricketers, near Richmond Green, the starting point for many a charity bike ride in the olden days. Here we ate a hearty supper and as luck would have it, it was quiz night. What a good quiz, too. We came second, losing by a single point. So close!

Pomegranate tree towering over Liesel and Andi

This pomegranate tree is, I believe, the only one in Richmond, apart from those at Kew Gardens of course. On a bad night, drunk men will attempt to climb it and, when challenged, will fall down onto the carefully nurtured flower beds below.

We drove to Heathrow Airport via Richmond Park, where we dropped Andi and Steve off to go deer-hunting. Well, deer spotting, I suppose. I hope they got some good photos and had a good walk back home afterwards.

I then dropped Liesel off at the airport, and set off for Kingston. I parked up and went into The Rose Theatre for a quick cup of coffee. The place was full of buggies, it was like a buggy showroom.

I’m no detective, but I think there may have been some entertainment taking place for mums and babies.

I wandered around Kingston for a while, noticing a few changes in the retail sector since my last visit.

I met Stella and Ian in Eden Walk shopping centre, and they haven’t changed a bit. That’s not their photo, by the way, that’s Anya and Hugo, age 14 and 4. Like us, chimps learn throughs imitation. They will observe the members of their communities, particularly their mother, to learn the necessary skills needed for their survival. They will also imitate emotions, showing a high level of empathy. At least, that’s what the plaque says anyway.

It was nice catching up with old friends in Apia Café. This was a new place to me. I realised later that a long, long time ago, Stella and I had worked together in an office just down the road from this location.

We walked over to John Lewis where I left them. I followed my nose to The Bentall Centre.

From here. it was a short walk back to the car park. From there, it was a long haul back home. 5¾ hours, again uneventful, apart from a couple of incidents resulting in very slow-moving traffic for a while. In one case, I noticed a burnt-out van. In the other, I have no idea what the hold-up was.

Please don’t accuse me of not being loyal to any particular radio station. In the car, I can’t get BBC 6 Music, or Boom Radio, but I did flit from Radio 2 to Radio 3 to Smooth (where they were talking about the upcoming Take That musical) to Magic (where they were talking about Brian May’s pronouncement that Queen never really liked audience members singing along) to Jack FM (where the music was, imho, much better) back to Radio 2 and 3 then to Radio 4 and then as I got closer to home, Radio Cymru, Radio Wales, Radio Stoke, CWR, Greatest Hits Radio and another one whose name escapes me.

Then ensued a great night’s sleep with some weird but fun dreams. Just don’t ask for details.

The next couple of days offered some fabulous sights in the night sky. Jupiter and Venus are really close to each other at twilight but Manchester’s clouds aren’t transparent enough.

And the Aurora Borealis, which unusually has been visible as far south as Cornwall, is absolutely stunning.

Thanks to Martin at Manchester Weather for tweeting this wonderful, colourful photo with the caption “The Northern Lights of South Manchester 🤣 Beautiful shades of grey and black with a sprinkle of drizzle!”

We’re being threatened with another Beast from the East, in other words, extremely cold weather and snow. I’d like to say, don’t worry, I’m used it it, I lived in Peterborough for six years. There’s nothing between Peterborough and the Urals, and I’m shivering at the very thought.

We’re not there yet, and I saw bits of the Mersey this week.

I never saw the heron, but the ducks and geese are out in force, probably getting excited at the prospect of Spring. Huh, they’re in for a shock. As are the daffodils and crocuses that will want to sink back into the ground.

I met up with Hayley for a coffee, and again, it was nice to catch up. Still no heron by the river though.

Back at home, I began the process of sorting out all the paperwork. It’s pretty much split equally three ways between keep, shred and recycle.

As I wrote this today, the soundtrack was Ken Bruce’s final show on Radio 2. I remember when he first turned up, decades ago. ‘He sounds just like Terry Wogan’, I said to my Mum. ‘Don’t be daft, he’s Scottish, Terry Wogan’s Irish’, she said, ‘they sound totally different’. Well, as usual, Mum’s right. And what a great last song to play, Ken: The Beatles’ Golden Slumbers, Carry that Weight and The End.

My own relatively humble radio show on Wythenshawe Radio this week was Mick’s Monochrome Music Mix, the theme being Black and White. Catch it here.

Meanwhile, how’s Liesel doing in Anchorage? Well, I hope she’s keeping warm. The leaks have stopped but the house and roof needs much more attention.

The depth of the snow is being measured in feet. And the size of the Ice Eccles (so dubbed by Martha) is just ridiculous.

Residents are advised to wear a hard hat if they go wandering around Anchorage.