June 2023 – Mick and Liesel's Antics

Menagerie

I don’t know if Liesel was surprised or not, but I got up in time to have breakfast and then walk with her to Didsbury, for her weekly coffee and chat with the ladies of the WI. We had a pleasant walk by the river to Didsbury. Some of the grass on the bank has been cut back, but there was a healthy barrier between the path and the river. That didn’t prevent all the dogs from jumping in the water, though.

Suddenly, amongst all the nettles and brambles and grass and thistles, one solitary red poppy grabbed our attention. It was vibrant, at just the right angle to the Sun, its intensity doesn’t really show up in the photo.

In the Metropolitan, we ordered our coffees at the bar. Where are you sitting? Liesel’s over there, with the WI ladies, and I’m over there, a few tables away. Why aren’t you sitting together? Several responses came to mind and I opted for, well, I failed the audition to join the WI.

So I sat over there, drank my coffee, studied my phone, and then walked home. On the way, I saw a tank parked up. It’s been there a long time, Liesel told me later, I just hadn’t walked along that road for a while.

A bit extreme, I thought. The potholes are bad around Manchester, yes, but an armoured vehicle is a bit OTT.

The squirrel greeted me when I arrived at home. For years, his instinct has been to run up the tree whenever he sees me. Maybe he thought I couldn’t see him, under the bush. Even when I accidently let the front door slam shut, he didn’t budge.

In the evening, we went over to Jenny’s for a Chinese takeaway. This was Helen’s last evening in England, before flying back home early on Sunday.

Liesel’s task for the day was to finish the pelican that she’d been crocheting for a long time. Why a pelican? And why the rush?

Well, Helen’s BFF Bambi in Australia is expecting a baby in a couple of months, and the pelican will be one of the young joey’s first cuddly toys.

The pelican is bigger than anticipated, it’s hard to gauge the size from a small picture. The stitch-count in the intructions should be a clue, but it just grew and grew, it sprouted feet and wings and of course, a big bill. A funny old bird is the pelican. Its bill can hold more than its belly can.

Liesel fought against finger cramp and RSI and pins and needles not to mention the heat but she’s a star. The pelican was completed, stuffed, sewn up and it accompanied us to Jenny’s in Cheadle Hulme.

Liesel’s dilemma was: could she bear to make another pelican should a request be received? Or would she prefer to stick to smaller projects. In any case, Liesel put away the crochet needles for a few days to give her digits a chance to recover.

Another problem was: Helen now had to fit the pelican into her already full bag.

Liesel and I collected the food from the local Chinese takeaway and we all had a very nice meal. I suspect some people had leftover Chinese for breakfast and/or lunch the following day!

Before we left, Helen and Jenny both gave me Fathers’ Day cards and chocolates, a total surprise as I’d forgotten it was that time of year. Thank you very much!

And as Helen flew away into the sunrise, Liesel and I wondered who would entertain us now? Mom, Jyoti, Helen, all come and now gone. No more visitors for a while. We might have to make our own fun.

Well, I wouldn’t call it fun, but the new printer stopped working. The problem was rectified within a couple of days, that’s great customer service from Cartridge Save, but HP as an organisation are pretty evil. Installing firmware in my printer, that I paid for, that detects non-HP ink cartridges and prevents it from working. Imagine Sodatreams only working with Evian water but not tap water. Or your car only running with one brand of petrol. It wouldn’t be allowed under decent competition laws. But HP? Huh. That’s my whinge of the week.

We missed the weekly Wednesday walk again. The Royal Cheshire County Show was happening, and Liesel had volunteered to help the WI in their tent. Her job was to make sandwiches. I said I’d go along with her, to offer moral support, and to wander round the exhibits.

It’s a two-day event and we were there on the second day. The traffic queue to get into the car park was ridiculously long. But we got there in the end. On disembarking from the car and embarking on the long hike to the show site itself, we were greeted by the biggest, blackest cloud ever.

At that moment, it didn’t feel like it was going to rain and of course, neither of us had waterproofs.

But it did rain. It poured. It was torrential. Liesel and I ducked into a tent with hundreds of other people, and some cattle. Teeming doesn’t cover it. It was a short storm, but long enough to turn all the paths and fields to mud. I had trainers on, but Liesel’s sandals were no match for that kind of weather. So, in a way, standing inside a tent for over three hours making sandwiches was a blessing.

We found the WI tent and, when the rain eased off, I went for a wet, muddy walk, to see what was on offer. It’s a very popular show, and much bigger than the equivalent shows we’d visited in Guildford when we were children.

The Cheshire Area of the National Association of Flower Arrangement Services had a great display of prize-winning arrangements.

I wonder how many hours work went into this one?

While drinking a coffee and eating my Bakewell tart, I enjoyed music from the Sandbach and District U3A Brass Band. Apart from anything else, it made me wonder whether we should have another go at joining U3A. Last time we did that, a pandemic ensued, so I’m not sure we should risk it again.

It was jolly decent of their majesties King Charles and Queen Camilla to turn up in their gold carriage, and park up outside the Cheshire WI tent.

Actually, it wasn’t the real King and Queen. They, the soldiers standing guard and even the horse were all scarecrows made using the traditional materials of wood and straw, with the addition of a covering of weather protecting bin bags. They are dressed in recycled clothing. The decoration and badges on the uniforms were created from bits and pieces of haberdashery and discarded jewellery.

Further afield, I found a funfair, lots of food stalls, a few charities seeking support, and lots of horses.

You might be wondering, which was my favourite horse? Well I think it’s this white one with a very long tail.

When I saw this big dish in the distance, I wondered whether it was the Sir Bernard Lovell telescope at Jodrell Bank. But, looking at a map afterwards, we were probably too far away.

Eventually I did find the farm animals. A little bit stinky, of course, but nothing like the tent with the pigeons, rabbits and cavies. The wall of ammonia that I walked into there drove me away instantaneously. Anyway, back to the farm animals.

The horns on this ram looked plastic. I didn’t get too close to investigate, I’m not that brave, but I did wonder whether they were 3D-printed and stuck on.

I went back to find Liesel soon after 2pm, and we wandered around together for a bit. The only thing we bought, despite so much temptation, was gingerbread from the shop in Grasmere that Pauline, Andrew and I visited last year. Very nice, very gingery.

We ate an ice cream while watching the horse-drawn carriage driving competition. They drove round and round the arena, and there was no overtaking. It was no Ben Hur. But they were all very elegant.

Meanwhile, Helen flew home, met Bambi and Brett, and introduced them to the pelican.

Bambi said it’s the best present she’s had, but what’s nice is that the pelican has made friends already down under, by the looks of it, with an octopus, a teddy, a lion and a koala.

According to my sources (Helen), Brett entered the room and said “what, that’s awesome, where did that come from?! That’s my favourite for sure.”

Helen’s no longer sure the baby will actually receive the pelican. This controversy will no doubt be discussed and resolved at length in the weeks and months to come. Anyway, congratulations, good luck and lots of love to Bambi and Brett and bump from Liesel and me.

It was a hot walk through the Wythenshawe woods, just the five of us this week. Followed by a cold drink in the coffee shop, unusual for me, but becoming more common as the hot weather continues.

At home this week, I have been making good progress on the computer, with the long-term project known as ‘sorting out the photos’. It’s amazing how much work, much of it repetitive, is required after having one zapped SD card and having to change phones. I hope you never have to recover photos from Google’s cloud storage. It’s not intuitive, it’s not easy, it’s not straightforward, it’s time-consuming and you’re never sure you have everything. I’m so glad I had my own backup copies.

In this week’s radio show, I listed the many local Festivals that are taking part in the coming weeks. If you missed it on Wythenshawe Radio WFM 97.2, you can catch it here.

Relaxation, Adventures, and Escapes

The day after our return from Center Parcs was very laid back. Some might describe it as lazy. We did very little. In fact, some might say we did nothing. We didn’t even turn the radio or TV on. A very relaxed day, all in all. A couple of snacks, a couple of hikes from sofa to kitchen, and an early night.

So here is some news from abroad.

Jyoti’s back at home in Anchorage, watching the wildlife from her window.

Meanwhile, over there in Cheadle Hulme, William was Star of the week at football class: the coach said he’d got it for his effort this week ⭐

Meanwhile, Helen drove south to visit some old friends in Somerset and SW London, and drove past our old house several times in disbelief at what our old neighbours have done.

Jenny and Liam took William and Martha to Legoland Windsor. The theme park was great fun but later in the week, the children were just raving about the breakfast they had at the hotel, the buffet style spread was huge, and the piles of toast were amazing!

We’re now in the midst of a heatwave. Suddenly the temperature is in the high 20s Celsius. Phew what a scorcher is the over-used phrase. And then came the thunderstorms. After skirting Manchester for a few days, we finally experienced one. Torrential rain and then hail, with stones the size of peas. I later found out that elsewhere, the hailstones were the size of marbles. Nothing wrong with a nice refreshing thunderstorm of course, unless you’re caught in it outside. Which, unfortunately, is what happened to the young lady whose job it was to deliver our pizza. When I ordered online, there was no sign of a cloud in the sky, but in the 25 minutes it took to cook our pizza, everything changed. She deserved a bigger tip, really. And a towel.

For the first time in many weeks, Liesel and I joined the Wednesday walk. It was a hot day for a walk by the river, with little shade. Phew what a scorcher. But the heron was standing in his default spot on the weir, so that was a bonus.

Liesel and I collected the children from school and, instead of bringing them to our luxury but hot apartment, we took them over to the nearby playground in Bruntwood Park, a short walk from school. They had fun playing, it was impossible to run after them, and it was nice to sit down in the shade for a picnic.

They both reached the summit of the climbing frame, again, something I’m not sure I could do, but only because it’s in a childrens’ playground, not for any other reason such as cowardice or chickenry.

There is a sandpit in this playground. The following converstion did not take place:
William: Can I play in the sandpit?
Grandad: Yes, of course you can, fill yer boots!

Nevertheless, he chose to do so, literally.

Later on, Martha and a school chum played in the sandpit too. By the time we’d all walked home, I think most of the sand had fallen off their shoes. Well, I say ‘shoes’, but as you can see, William was wearing wellies. I think the kiddoes had a good brush down and a shower at home.

We had an unusual visitor this week.

Usually, we see them later in the year, so here’s another sign, maybe, of climate change.

For the first time in many weeks, I joined the Thursday walk. It was a hot day for a walk so the shade in the woods was very welcome. Phew what a scorcher. There were just the four of us this week, Mick, Michael, Chantel and Chantelle.

Jenny and Liam asked us to babysit one evening, and that’s always a pleasure. They and Helen were joining a couple of friends at an Escape Room. Martha was building a Lego model that she’d acquired at Legoland. She was doing really well, the instructions are really good and comprehensive, she didn’t really need my help. She was about halfway through completing the structure, at instruction number 140.

They ate (most) of their supper, and got ready for bed quickly after which we read some stories. Both said they missed Mummy, but accepted that Mummy and Daddy like to go out sometimes. And, once asleep, they both stayed in slumber at least until we left when parents and auntie returned. The Escape Room had been good fun but very hot.

With this in mind, I dressed as lightly as I could the following day, because Jenny and Helen’s (belated) birthday present for me was a visit to an Escape Room, not the same as last night’s.

This one is located in Disley and the drive there was very pleasant.

Our team of tomb raiders and archeologists entered an abandoned gold mine in the heart of the Mexican mountains. Our mission was to find the hidden gold. Legend says that the holder of the hidden gold of El Narangel will find the Lost Tomb. The miners left subtle clues and hints, so we used all our skills to find the hidden gold and ultimately the Lost Tomb. We had to be careful because the miners wouldn’t give up their gold easily.

I would recommend this, my first Escape Room experience, ExtremEscape, it was challenging and good fun and, contrary to expectations, the venue wasn’t too hot.

No spoilers, so no photos, suffice to say, we escaped with 8 minutes left from the original 90-minute duration of the challenge.

At the risk of blowing my own trumpet, I am very proud to have been the first person to solve one puzzle in one particular way, according to our host! Even though, at the time, I was berated by children and spouse!

For lunch, we dined at Greens in Didsbury. As usual, the food was great, the service was terrific and again, Liesel and I agreed we should come more often.

At home, the latest TV series that we’re enjoying is Extraordinary Attorney Woo: very unusual to see a character on the autistic spectrum in a lead rôle.

My show this week on Wythenshawe Radio featured two hours of Cover versions, and if you missed it, you can catch up here.

Center Parcs

Our next adventure? Yes, a week in Center Parcs with Helen, Jenny, Liam, Martha and William. The seven of us were to occupy a single lodge in the holiday village in Sherwood Forest, the first to open, in 1987. So it’s the same age as Helen. Any plans I had for a long, luxurious lie-in were put on hold for a few days.

Liesel and I rose early, finished our packing and set off for Jenny’s house. There, we loaded two cars with people and enough stuff for six months. Or so it seemed: I think most of the paraphernalia was for the children. Including their bikes which we mounted on the back of our car.

Quite rightly, Martha was concerned that the bikes might fall off on the journey. We reassured her that the straps would hold them in place. Telling her that if the bikes fell off, then so would the back door of the car, well, in retrospect, maybe that wasn’t what she needed to hear.

The weather looked promising and the two-hour drive was straightforward, over and around the Peaks and into Nottinghamshire. The one and only other time I’d been to Sherwood Forest was in about 1984, for work. I remember being pestered by wasps at the pub.

After arriving and checking in at the main gates, we ate lunch in the Village Square. I know a few people who have taken short breaks at Center Parcs, but I didn’t really know what to expect. It’s a large community of about 400 acres in the middle of the forest. Other than driving to the lodge to unload the car, and reloading a few days later, cars aren’t allowed on the roads. Which leaves the park free for the enjoyment of cyclists, pedestrians, buggies, skaters and scooterers. Even on our first little walk to the village square, I was surprised and delighted to see squirrels and moorhens and geese and ducks.

4pm was the time to unload the vehicles. Jenny entered the lodge first, catching a member of staff putting her feet up for a few minutes. Oops.

I don’t know how many bags and cases and boxes we carried in for the seven of us, but then I recall that when Liesel and I went away for just a couple of days at Christmas, we had 16 bags.

I thought this oak tree was hundreds of years old, but no, it was planted in the late 19th century. Why is it crooked? The strange ‘wolf’ tree form was created in the mid-20th Century when it was about 90 years old and the largest tree in the forest. Pine trees were planted around the oak and as they grew, their canopies covered over the oak’s branches. To reach the warmth of sunlight the gnarly old oak opened its boughs wide and twisted them between the pine canopies. When Center Parcs arrived, the pines were removed giving the oak unimpeded access to daylight. Neither William nor I climbed the tree.

We had an early dinner, my kind of meal really, lots of snacks, nibbles, crackers, falafels, pita chips, spinach dip. We’d planned to go swimming afterwards, so I was conscious that I shouldn’t eat too much: no need to sink on the first day.

The pool area is big and even in the evening, very busy, lots of families, lots of children and, I’m pleased to say, I wasn’t the oldest person there.

Martha and William encouraged me to go on The Rapids. As the name suggests, you’re taken down a slide, with multiple turns and bumps and plunges. What I didn’t anticipate was getting cramp in one toe. Which meant, I was even more out of control of my body, I kept bumping into Liam, I couldn’t apologise enough, but I couldn’t stop either, in the fast flowing water, to give my foot a chance to sort itself out. The third and final section was horrible too. Most of the water went up my nose. Glad I did it, but no need to do it again. Maybe just the first section.

We queued for the Grand Cascade boat ride. You hold onto the circular boat as it, relatively gently, travels down a 600-metre shute. At the end of a very enjoyable ride, everyone climbed out of our vessel, including William. ‘Are you alright?’ asked the lifeguard as I floundered in the boat, which was now half full of water. ‘Yeah, grandson just stomped on my nuts’, I explained.

We went to bed later than I’m now used to, but even so, it took ages for us to fall asleep. First night in a new place and new bed is always a challenge of course, but I think I’d ODed on caffeine too.

One of the benefits of still being awake at around midnight was that I heard owls hooting outside. Next time, I laughingly told myself, I’ll go out and see if I can see one.

The next morning, Liesel rose early and went for a walk around the village. I would (maybe) have joined if I’d been awake. Martha and William fed the geese and ducks that visited our back door. The bird food is supplied, and the birds know it. And so do the squirrels! Also queueing for free food was a blackbird, more baby moorhens and of course, pigeons.

We went for a swim in the morning and it was much busier than last night. In fact, it was so crowded that at one point, I had to get away from the throng and go for a walk around the pool area. I don’t know how many tens of thousands of steps remain unaccounted for because of course I didn’t have my pedometer with me.

In other news, today marked a very significant anniversary. Never mind D-Day in 1944. Or the UK referendum which continued our membership of the EEC. No, on 6th June, 1973, I went into school to sit one of my A-level exams. Halfway through, I just got up and ran to the toilets. I’d been having stomach pains for a few days. The GP had put it down to ‘exam nerves’. I know what exam nerves feel like, and this was totally different. But in those days, the doctor knew best.

Somehow, I got home, Mum took me to see the doctor and thank goodness it was a different one. A quick examination confirmed: appendicitis. Dad was at Epsom, enjoying Derby Day, so Mum came to hospital with me, in the ambulance.

I was told later that my appendix was removed ‘just in time’. A black shrivelled up thing was how it was described.

During my ten days in hospital, I sat one more exam, invigilated by my then maths teacher, Jenny Nelson. Whom I still feel bad about, because I never thanked her properly.

It never occurred to me in that hospital bed, during a hot Summer, that fifty years later, I would be having a holiday with my children and my grandchildren.

After lunch, we walked over to the Aerial Adventure. All the girls signed up for this challenge, us boys volunteered to take pictures. To be fair, I think William would have joined in but he’s just not quite tall enough this year.

The adventure entails walking among the treetops, on wobbly boards, through a tunnel, and negotiating various other obstacles before the final zip wire ride across the lake.

Liam and William took a boat out onto the lake and I thought I’d stay on land to get some different photos.

Sadly, my videos were no good. I blame it on the fact that my new phone behaves differently to the old one. Nevertheless, it was quite exciting to see Jenny, Liesel, Helen and Martha fly over the lake, shrieking with enjoyment.

In the evening, we dined at Las Iguanas, where I was surprised to see that many of the waiting staff were robots. They carry the food to your table, and a real human (or so I believe them to be) serves it up to us customers.

Later in the evening, Liesel and I were relaxing on the sofa, when Christmas appeared.

Good night, Merry Christmas, sleep well!

After breakfast, the children wanted to swim again but Liesel and I decided to take a day off. Liesel had some work to do, and as regular readers will be aware, I was a long, long way behind with this blog. So after watching Martha and William play in the Pirate’s Cove for a while, Liesel and I went and sat in the café that overlooks the rapids, where we drank coffee, typed and observed.

Jack-in-the-pulpit, or Arisaema Triphyllum, to use its botanical name, is a perennial wildflower native to north America. It’s sometimes called a bog onion. Which, as the sign says, is quite appropriate, because this one is in fact a urinal, which I think all us gents were too intimidated to use.

Today’s adventure for the children was the climbing walls. I think they both did remarkably well, climbing several different walls, each with its own challenges. I wouldn’t have climbed nearly as high, even knowing the safety equipment was in proper working order.

Later in the afternoon, I went for a solo wander over to the Nature Walk. I followed well-made paths, walked through the trees, and was glad to be away from people for a short while. So what wonders of nature did I behold on this special trail? One rabbit, one squirrel and, er, some pretty flowers.

On our last full day here, I got up early, finished writing and posted the blog. Liesel decided to work again, while I went swimming with everyone else. I say swimming, but the pool isn’t designed for serious swimming, it’s too busy and the wrong shape. So when I say I swam two lengths, it’s not that impressive, really.

Liesel and I took the children to the playground in the afternoon. Two playgrounds in fact. The first one was for 8-13 year olds, and so the equipment was quite a stretch for both of them.

Later on, time for 10-pin bowling. I didn’t participate because my back has been giving me gip on and off for a couple of weeks. Jenny didn’t play either, because of her knee issues. Being a mere observer, I couldn’t help but notice there was definitely a slight camber to the left hand side, that’s where most of the errant bowls ended up.

The weather had been OK all week, but a couple of extra degrees would have been nice. We enjoyed our walk, or in the case of the children, bike ride, to the venue for our evening meal. There’s a maze here too which Martha and William enjoyed running around, and, taking a cue from their Dad, jumping over the low fences!

After the best night’s sleep of the week, and a quick breakfast, it was time to pack up, move out and move on. Liesel volunteered to retrieve the car from the car park and when I saw it, decorated with a thick layer of pollen, I finally understood why some of us had been suffering from hay fever all week.

It took several trips to carry all the bags and cases and boxes from the lodge to the cars. And, because we had a long way to drive home later, I thought it would be nice to see where we were going, so I washed the pollen off the cars’ windows.

On our first day here, William and Martha drew on the blackboard in the lodge, and I am glad I can preserve the artwork here:

Oh, and it wasnt a lodge after all, it was a ‘villa’! At least, according to the sticker warning of the deep water nearby.

There was time for one final swim in the morning. The first time William saw this shute, slide, whatever it is, he took a few seconds before deciding not to go on it. Just a few days later, and he was sliding down, very fast, time after time. As was Martha.

I managed to get a video of the family at the end of a Grand Cascade Boat Ride.

After our final meal, this time at the Pancake House, we set off for home. It seemed to be a long drive, with lots of traffic and loads of hold-ups. But we still made it back to Cheadle in time for Martha and William to attend their cricket club. Yes, they’re learning the skills of the gentlemen’s game. I was glad to see they don’t use a real cricket ball though: I’m still wary of those things from my own school days.

When Martha wasn’t required to bowl or wield a bat, she entertained us by doing handstands out in the field.

After dropping the bikes and other paraphernalia off at Jenny’s house, Liesel and I went home. Hot, tired, and very happy. We’d had a lovely, fun time with the family.

A bonus was that during the two-hour drive, Liesel and I listened to Wythenshawe Radio, and there was a fascinating show about Parks. Mick the Knife presented it and you can catch it here.

Carlisle to Northenden and back to normal

Our hosts let us stay in the b&b for a while after the publicised checkout time, and I had a very modest breakfast, since there was to be no major hike. Tammy and Teresa walked to the station with their heavy bags and shortly afterwards, Jyoti, Liesel and I took the taxi: the same cabbie as yesterday, booked by Liesel when he dropped us off yesterday, mainly because he wasn’t Max Verstappen.

Yes, we caught up with Teresa and Tammy at the station. Our trains, theirs to Euston and ours to Manchester, departed from the same platform, albeit over half an hour apart. The second farewells were just as fond as the first.

I wish I’d counted the carriages or containers that made up the long Tesco train as it passed through Carlisle Station.

I probably could have used the facilities closer to where we were sitting, waiting for our train, but it was fun wandering around, getting a few steps in, at least.

And of course, it’s always fun looking down on people.

The two-hour train journey into Manchester was uneventful, but we did pass some very pleasant countryside, which I observed momentarily whilst reading my very exciting book.

And the thought crossed my mind: yep, for the last week or so, we’ve been walking through that sort of thing.

And again, as my mind wandered, the thought occurred: in hotels and b&bs, why do the bathroom materials have to be so hard to identify? All I want to know is whether it’s ‘Shampoo’ or ‘Shower Gel’ or whatever. Yet this vital information is often in very small print at the bottom of the bottle. I don’t care who the manufacturer is, or what it smells of, or what the ingredients are or whether or not the bottle’s recyclable, or what its capacity is. Just tell me what it is, in a big typeface, something that I can read when I don’t have my glasses on in the shower. That’s the whinge of the day.

The taxi ride home from the station was also uneventful. Again, we were glad not to have Stirling Moss driving us.

I think it’s fair to say we took the rest of the day easy. Liesel and Jyoti attended to their blisters. My only one, on a small toe, was caused by a small stone that had entered my shoe via the back door. A new shoe that should be waterproof, but according to the mud stains on my sock, in that corner, wasn’t.

The one commitment I had was to produce a radio show for Friday. This I completed over two days, utilising birthday messages sent by several messages from Jenny’s friends and family. I can’t believe Jenny is that old, I keep doing the arithmetic in my head. Forty years ago this week, to speed things along, Sarah was doing lots of gardening, and enjoying plenty of Indian food.

We invited the family over for dinner, which I think they enjoyed. Martha certainly did.

I wondered how long the ‘rest period’ would be following our hike across the country. It was very easy to not join any of the regular local walks this week. On one occasion I had to go to Boxx2Boxx for a meeting with David and Mary again. I still find it interesting that there are so many services offered locally, but the main problem is informing the people that need to know.

In the afternoon I took a bus into Manchester, to the blood donation centre. To donate blood, I wasn’t just going in to ‘borrow’ some biscuits. Trainee Phoebe looked after me today, and she seemed relieved when I agreed to letting her put the needle in my arm. ‘Well, you’ve got to practice on somebody’, I said.

I think someone must have set the alarm off once too often. They seem pretty desperate for us to press the right button when we want to leave the building.

Before going home, yes of course I had biscuits, custard creams and shortbread, since you ask, plus orange squash. They don’t offer tea or coffee any more, and I hope that’s for medical reasons and not ‘budget cuts’.

The three of us went for a walk at Dunham Massey, it’s close, fairly flat, and at this time of year, very colourful.

But the most exciting event of the day was undoubtedly the arrival of my younger daughter Helen, all the way from Australia. Liesel, Jyoti and I went over and joined the family for dinner. I took one photo. A momentous occasion, and all I got was this non-award winning portrait, which gained negative points for its composition.

When Liesel’s Mom left, Jyoti arrived to take her place. Helen turned up so now it’s time for Jyoti to go home. One in, one out. On Jyoti’s last full day here on this visit, we all went to Chester Zoo. Liesel, Jyoti and I arrived first, and before the others joined us, we actually saw some animals. Exciting, eh? And we saw even more animals when we were a party 7 strong. Yes, sadly, only 7, Liam was left at home to deal with a faulty boiler. We offerered, but I’m so glad they didn’t all come round to ours at 7am for a warm shower.

Martha haunting the golden mantella vivarium

During her time here, Jyoti was often busy knitting hats for the children. She and Liesel with her crochet are very talented.

Another fabulous day then, in fair weather. Liesel, Jyoti and I sadly couldn’t make the comedy night that I’d booked ages ago on account of being absolutely shattered. Plus, Jyoti had to pack as she was leaving us the following day. One in, one out.

We said our goodbyes at Manchester Airport and then, in the afternoon, we went around to Jenny’s again for her 40th birthday party. Alan and Una were there too as well as Andrea, Paul, Annabel and Emily. A party of 13.

It was nice enough to go in the garden too.

It’s Jenny’s day, but of course, most of the attention was on the children, with Martha doing handstands and never quite going all the way over.

And we began to pack for our next little adventure…

When it cooled off a bit later, we went inside and the children entertained us with various dances. Oh to be so uninhibited, I hope they never lose their joie de vivre.

We’d had quite a feast by the time the birthday cake arrived, but that didn’t stop me from having a slice, maybe two, I can’t quite remember, with my coffee.

In technical news, it was time to get my phone repaired. Replace the battery and fix the volume control buttons. Everyone else, it seems, had broken phones since all the slots at the Samsung repair shop were booked. Plan B was to arrange for an engineer or mechanic to come to mine and fix it. Or technician, as I found such people are called.

It was good to see the Mersey again, and on this bright and sunny Sunday, some people were messing about in boats. I watched and waited, but nobody fell in the water.

I do enjoy listening to podcasts, and have subscribed to quite a few. I’m a bit behind right now, but I hadn’t realised quite how many episodes were in the pile to be listened to.

I think it might take a while catch up, between you and me.

In family news: William can now ride a bike. So he cycled and Martha scootered to their local park one afternoon, with Jenny, Helen and me in hot pursuit.

Liesel has begun a couple of new crochet projects: a sheep and a pelican. Can you tell what this is yet?

That’s right, a pelican

For Jenny’s birthday, she and Helen visited Shrigley Hall Hotel and Spa for a relaxing spa session. In a throwback to the olden days, Dad went to collect them at the end of the evening. What did the spa session entail? As far as I could discern, consuming two bottles of wine between them and spending time in the pool. When I arrived, the Sun was about to set, and I realised what a great setting this place was.

I should be ashamed but I’m not. I consumed the TimTams that Helen brought over for me very quickly. ‘Just one more’ says my evil brain far too often. What’s brown and invisible? No TimTams.

And as May drew to a close and the curtains opened on June, someone reminded me that we’re only six months away from Christmas. Yes, maybe, but we don’t need to know that, thank you very much!

Liesel and I took a bus into Manchester and ate a meal at The Allotment, a vegan eatery. They brought an entirely new vegan experience to the table. The service was a little slow maybe, but the food was good. Me, being me, I did begin to panic that we wouldn’t get to the theatre in time, but we did.

We returned to The Royal Exchgange Theatre to watch No Pay? No Way!, by Dario Fo, originally produced in the 1970s, during an earlier economic crisis. This furious and feisty political comedy is an urgent exploration of our global economic reality, says the blurb. It was very funny and some of the dialogue rings true today, in 2023.

And so the day came to get my phone fixed. The technician arrived early and very quickly gave me the bad news. It could not be repaired. Whoever took the phone apart last time had used the wrong kind of glue, and this had leaked onto the motherboard. You’re going to have to get a new phone. That was exactly what I didn’t want him to say. Apart from anything else, I won’t be going back to that tech shop in Northenden again, and I recommend you don’t either. Just because we’d had good service there before doesn’t mean we will now, with different owners.

Meanwhile, Liesel had gone for a nice long walk with the WI at Lindow Common near Wilmslow.

Obviously, I hadn’t planned to go shopping for a phone, so I hadn’t done any research. But I decided to stick with Samsung, so Liesel and I visited The Trafford Centre. Liesel did some other shopping while I pestered Suresh in the Samsung Shop. Some of the information went over my head, but eventually, I made my choice. Its colour? Awesome violet. It’s a bit scary buying an expensive item such as this on the spur of the moment, but it doesn’t happen very often. Thank goodness.

It took over an hour for the process of copying everything over from the old to the new phone. Well, not quite everything. Over the course of the weekend, I noticed some weird omissions. I spent a lot of time over the weekend making sure all my home pages resembled my old, familiar layout, as much as possible. And as Suresh said, I had to sign in again to most of the apps.

Something I couldn’t carry over were the winning streaks from a couple of my daily puzzles: Nerdle and Full Rainbow.

Earlier in the week, I’d prepared two radio shows, one for this week, Walls, and one for next week, Parks, because we’ll be away next week, hooray!

But having a new, reliable phone definitely trumps that.

Steel Rigg to Gilsland to Irthington to Carlisle to Bowness on Solway

After leaving the Twice Brewed Inn, we had to retrace our steps to pick up Hadrian’s Wall Path again. First though, let’s take some photos outside.

And, a little bit later, I took the opportunity to cut Liesel’s chin off again.

We made good progress and enjoyed the views. Looking back on one occasion, Liesel spotted a small animal poking its nose out of the wall. The stoat emerged, ran across the field and disappeared into the distance. How exciting to see a wild animal rather than a farmyard favourite.

We passed Winshields, the halfway point and highest position on Hadrian’s Wall. This wasn’t the time nor place for a big party to celebrate, though. Still: all downhill from here then, right? No, no and thrice no. In fact, very shortly afterwards, at the top of another hill, we came across a trig point.

From this point heading west, the Roman Wall was much narrower than it had been. It seems it was taking too long to complete the massive building project, so the legionnaires found a way to make quicker progress. So fast in fact, that they left behind bags of stones and rocks that can still be found today. Jyoti tried to shift one, but other than make us laugh, her efforts were in vain.

Jyoti’s over the shoulder boulder holder

The Wall itself is a dominant feature, but there are plenty of other features.

I like the fact that at each of these forts and turrets, there’s a descriptive sign showing us what the structure used to look like. Many of the missing stones have been used over hundreds of years to build other walls, houses and barns. Recycling at its best. A good example is shown here. The old Roman stones are being used to protect the more worn paths, especially on the slopes.

Today’s route, though shorter, was also described as strenuous. And indeed it was. I find it easier to climb than to descend, since I don’t have very good depth perception, looking down. Still being tired from yesterday didn’t help. Snack and drink water frequently, little and often, are the very basic but sensible customs to follow. Take your time. I followed all the rules and yet after this particularly hard, steep descent, carefully and slowly making my way down the uneven steps, I realised I’d had enough. I bonked. I hit the wall. I had to have a lie down for a while. In retrospect, a bit embarrassing but at the time, I just wanted to stop. In my stupor, I tried to summon up a rescue helicopter.

To be fair, Liesel and Jyoti aren’t laughing at my predicament, but I am so grateful for their support, feeding and watering me like I’m an old nag destined for the glue factory. Teresa and Tammy at this point were quite far ahead and it made sense for them not to wait for us.

After a while, I was able to continue. Slow and steady. Northumberland National Park needs our help. They want us to let them know of all the reptiles we encountered: vipers, slow worms and lizards. Well, my personal total was zero, so that won’t take too long.

Walltown Crags. The crags would have been a challenge to climb, so I’m glad our path went in the opposite direction. Thirlwall Castle was quite an imposing sight. There was a short hill which I decided to pass on. Liesel and Jyoti went up for a closer look while I had a rest on the stone direction sign, which probably didn’t help those folks hiking in the opposite direction to us.

Soon after this, another wildlife bonanza. We saw bunnies and a family of geese with a cute little gosling. It was about this point when I realised how flexible miles are in this area. 3 miles to go. Walk for half an hour. Then another sign saying 3 miles to go. Later, Google Maps suggests 1.8 miles to go. We met a hiker who was carrying a huge backpack. He said he’d walked 18 miles so far today and had a couple of hours to go. I kept schtum, I didn’t want to tell him how hard I’d found the last several miles. But he was philosophical about the whole thing: “The pain’s constant but the views change”.

1.5 miles to our destination, Gilsland. A couple of bridges, a burn, and we thought we were getting close. Liesel called Teresa to say we were close, about a quarter of a mile away. Teresa said it’s probably nearer three quarters.

Brookside Villa must be the most attractive b&b in the whole world. At least, it was today, to me. Right place, right time.

Liesel and I were given the penthouse suite, which meant walking up more stairs. But when I got up at about 1.30am for my usual nocturnal biological demands, I noticed, through the skylight, a nice dark sky and stars. I was so excited, despite being tired and it being the middle of the night, that I got my phone and took a picture of The Plough or Big Dipper. Not the most exciting astrophotography, I know, but I was happy. Not so happy about knocking a glass of water over in the process, but stuff happens.

The day we walked from Gilsland to Irthington wasn’t marked as strenuous. And after yesterdays’ incident, I was quite prepared to walk more slowly if necessary, and I definitely programmed myself to eat and drink more often.

Over the course of their occupation, the Romans built three bridges over the River Irthing at Willowford, each more sophisticated than the previous one.

What an astonish feat of design and construction. Imagine then our slight disappointment when, to cross the river, we had to walk across this modern one. Built in 1999 and I doubt there’ll be evidence of it in 1700 years’ time.

It was a lovely warm day, and so quite refreshing occasionally to take shelter in the woods for a minute. I felt very lucky not to be suffering from blisters on my feet, but the four lambs had to deal with this issue to a lesser or greater degree. While tending to their wounds, I snacked and imbibed.

I’m sure this fallen log has a few tales to tell, but I chose a different one to perch on. Out in the countryside, a few birds and animals hung around, but the biggest surprise was coming across an Honesty Snack Shed. Snacks and drinks for sale, and an honesty box for the payment.

The signs continue to inform and educate, but ridiculous as it sounds, I did find myself thinking sometimes, ‘another one’? We agreed that it would be nice if they could reconstruct one of these forts fully, since all we see in general are just a few layers of stones giving an idea of the building’s layout.

Piper Sike, Turret 51a, a frontier watchtower. This was a stone tower built by the
Emperor Hadrian’s army around AD 122. It originally stood within the turf section of Hadrians Wall which extended 31 Roman miles (44km) from the river lrthing to Bowness-on-Solway. After a few years the turf was replaced by a stone wall part of which abuts the turret’s west wall.

We made friends with a couple of donkeys named Hamish and Dougal. Naturally I asked ‘You’ll have had your tea?’ (Look up I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue and indeeed Hamish and Dougal’s own shows on Radio 4, some now on YouTube.)

And so it came to pass, no, that’s not right… And so, we came to pass Hare Hill, a precious fragment of Hadrian’s Wall, at the same time as a couple of ladies approached from the opposite direction. Megan and her friend were walking from west to east and this was excitingly their first sighting of the Wall. Which meant, it was to be our last. From now on, the Wall would be hidden from us, even if we were actually walking on top of it.

Another thing you don’t expect to find in the middle of nowhere is a shop selling t-shirts. I didn’t buy one, but this one summarises the whole walk quite nicely, I think.

Someone who deserves at least a knighthood is the man (and I’m sure it was a man, no woman would be so daft) who walked the length of Hadrian’s Wall one day some years ago, planting nettles underneath nearly every gate and stile making passage that much more difficult, especially for those of us with bare legs trying to squeeze through a small gap.

Time for another sit down.

Look/Seek for something Beautiful every day

Walking via Newtown, a hamlet very proud of its Cumbria in Bloom awards between 2008 and 2014, we walked down to The Sally in Irthington. Amy supplied ice for Jyoti’s ankle and generally looked after us.

All week, in fits and starts, Liesel has been crocheting a jellyfish. She attached the final tentacles this evening and gave it to Amy who was delighted.

From our room, we could hear sheep and so sleep came very easily.

After walking on grass and mud for many miles, your feet do notice how hard an asphalt road surface is, especially towards the end of the day.

On the morning of Day 7, we had to backtrack a bit to pick up the trail again. Breakfast was big. I think the cook wasn’t used to vegetarian breakfasts, so over-compensated by giving me two huge tomatoes, three veggie sausages (that were disappointing), two eggs, no hash brown, a bowl of baked beans and (cold) guacamole which didn’t do anything for me. Plus toast. I couldn’t eat it all, but I still felt stuffed.

It was a lot more humid today too, so we were all sweating a bit. Jyoti suggested writing a limerick to mark the occasion. Walking, talking, stalking, looking around and gawking, lots of rhymes, but no single decent poem emerged.

We noticed sheep and cattle were sharing a field in some places. They stayed in their own groups or herds and there was no sign of fighting over a particularly juicy clump of grass.

We thought we’d seen the end of Hadrian’s Wall, but no. We were surprised to see a small section constructed, not from stones, but from old chariot tyres. They’re in pretty good nick for being nearly 2000 years old.

The vallum is the ditch that runs alongside the Wall, another defence against the Picts or Celts from the north.

We stopped at Crosby Church for a break, and the first gravestone I saw was that of an 18-year old girl who’d died in 2005. I want to know her story. But at the same time, I don’t. Very sad, in any case.

A wannabe topiarist had a good go at this shrub, but they need a slightly taller ladder, methinks.

After Crosby, I became aware of a much more diverse chorus of birdsong. I couldn’t identify some of them and my app, Chirp-o-Matic, only suggested three or four candidates. We heard a lot, but didn’t see very many close up. We did see flowers though.

I think it’s Scotch broom, very similar to gorse but without the thorns. And, of course, we’re never too far away from sheep, even when they try to hide behind a bush.

The river Eden would be our guide for a while as we walked by fields with row after row of polythene sheets, underneath which they’re growing, what, potatoes? I didn’t peek.

Later on, in the middle of a field, we saw another Roman fort. No, not really. What is it? Too small to be a grain store. Can’t be defensive, even with those small windows to shoot arrows through.

After a thorough, in-depth investigation, we learn that it’s a folly, and possibly a dovecote built c.1835, for George Head Head, in the grounds of Rickerby House. The tower is Grade II listed. George Head Head, now that’s someone we should know more about, not to mention his parents’ sense of humour.

Rickerby Park on the approaches to Carlisle was pleasant, and a perfect opportunity for a selfie.

We easily found our b&b which is called either Langley or Langleigh, depending on whether you believe the paperwork or the engraved stone gate post.

After dining at the Thai place in Carlisle, Jyoti walked out of her skirt. No video available. Ironic, because just a couple of days ago I’d told the story about Mrs Winter. She was the cleaner in the hall of residence where I lived in my first year at uni. You knew she was coming because of her distinctive tread. Both of her shoes squeaked but at a different pitch. One day, Nick and I happened to be following her along the corridor when her drawers fell down, squ-squeak, squ-squeak, and she just carried on and walked right out of them. There’s no video of that occasion either.

Liesel thinks her triceps are bulging now after using the walking poles for so many days. I’m sure she said Poley Moley when she noticed.

There were so many sheep in so many fields. I tried counting them but I kept falling asleep, which isn’t ideal when you’re trying to walk a long way.

On arrival at Langleigh, we couldn’t get into our rooms. Somehow, someone had double-locked the door and closed it. The only solution was to break the lock on that door. It was Sunday and so locksmiths were hard to come by. I felt bad for Yvette and Norman, but I also felt useless, there was nothing I could do to help.

Langleigh has been a b&b for 50 years, and it still retains some of that ’70s vibe. Candles were lit for breakfast, to illuminate the many, many bird ornaments and pictures that adorn the place.

There was no need to pack here in the morning for the haulage company because we’d be staying at this b&b for a second night. Carlisle isn’t that far from home, yet we’d never been before, so Liesel and I agreed to come back and explore the city properly one day.

The Sun rose on our 8th and final day walking the Hadrian’s Wall Path. It was to be the longest in distance, 15 miles along the river Eden to its confluence with the Solway, fairly flat with some undulation. The most boring section perhaps was a very long, dead straight road that might well have been Roman in origin.

But well before then, I must admit I was amused by the precision of some of the signposts.

I forgot to pack a tape measure, otherwise I might have checked it really was 236 yards.

On the first set of steps, I noticed I had calf muscles for the first time that day. We saw a lot of flowers, wild and cultivated, but sadly, very few insects. We didn’t mind not having to bat away thousands of flies like we did for a couple of days, but a few more butterflies and bees would have been nice.

We walked through what can only be described as the most sheep-shittiest field of the whole trip today. The sheep gave us funny looks as we tip-toed across their lunch. But at least we’re not taking a dump on our own dinner plates.

The directions said ‘turn left’ after the church, We did, and encountered the narrowest path of the whole trip.

Yes, there were nettles here too and somehow I managed to force myself through without being stung.

Another thing I don’t think any of us expected to find this week was a zip wire. But we did, at Beaumont Parish Hall. Did we have a go? Not all of us, but…

And we’re still finding interesting wildlife.

St Michael’s Church at Burgh-by-Sands made us welcome, even if, due to our own incompetence, we couldn’t find the supply of tap water, as advertised!

This twelfth century church was built with stones from the Roman Wall nearby. King Edward I came here to cross the Solway and subdue the rising under Robert the Bruce. He died on the marsh and was brought into the church to lie in state on 7 July 1307. The fortified tower was a refuge during the border raids.

The Eden joined the Solway and we saw Scotland for the first time, another landmark.

After our lunch break, we walked along the flood protection bank. I took a detour into a field where I was able to water the nettles. After which I had to briefly abandon the bank, due to a herd of cows. They were on the bank, in the ditch, walking backwards and forwards along and across the road. They weren’t at all aggressive, just a little intimidating being there in such numbers.

This was the long, dead straight road I mentioned earlier, a perfect opportunity for an entrepreneur to install a travelator.

The big disaster of the day? My shirt sleeve got caught on a hawthorn branch.

Next time we do this walk, we’ll record all the squeaky springs on all the gates and make a symphony. And we should include that bloke’s squeaky shoes too, from Day 4 or 5.

And, we’ll plan to walk both ways if it’s hot and sunny. East to west means the Sun beautifully tans the left arm. Walking back to Newcastle will darken the right arm, restoring that lovely feeling of symmetry.

I commented earlier on the flexible miles in this part of the world. We started the day knowing we had a 15-mile walk. As the day progressed, the signs told of a dimishing distance between Carlisle and Bowness.

It was good to see some seabirds on the beach around Port Carlisle. Some oyster catchers and some little or common ringed plovers, but they were a long way off. I must get a zoom lens for my phone.

Bowness on Solway. Never has the sight of a sign brought so much joy!

And yes, just a short while later, the five of us reached the end of the road.

Welcome to the end of Hadrian’s Wall Path

There were two rubber stamps to add to our passport. Except we didn’t have a passport and hadn’t seen most of the other rubber stamps along the way. I didn’t even have any paper. So, while celebrating on the rocky beach, I picked up a stone as a souvenir, and stamped it.[*]

Cantum meum canto
air seolaidhean-mara na Salmhaigh
leyke a sky-reydin burd
my heart soars high

As you walk down to the beach from the Welcome hut, there’s a handrail that bears a poem. The four lines of the poem along the handrail represent the cultural influences on Bowness on Solway: Roman Latin, Scots Gaelic, Cumbrian dialect and English. In English the poem reads:

I sing my song
of the Solway tides
like a sky-riding bird
my heart soars high.

What a perfect end to the walk. Just a short way to go now to the King’s Arms Inn for a welcome drink. We’d been cheersing each other all week, 10 opportunities to break a glass each time, but it never happened.

The barmaid (sorry if that’s not her official title, it does seem a bit old-fashioned) was kind enough to order a taxi to take us back to our b&b. Strangely, we didn’t have it in us to walk back to Carlisle.

The cab arrived and took us straight to our b&b. In the evening, we dined at The Thin White Duke. We were expecting to be entertained by the music of David Bowie, but disappointingly, that didn’t happen. There were just a couple of allusions to the great man, but the meal was great.

Jyoti managed to walk back without shedding any clothes on this occasion. We did some ironing before going to bed.

One more good night’s sleep before going home.

I’m sure we’re all very proud of our achievement, it was a fascinating, interesting and sometimes challenging hike across the country. If I do anything like this again, I hope it’s in the company of four beautiful, young, funny, supportive American women. Thank you very much, lambs!

A spot of time travel here. This week’s radio show was, inevitably, themed around Walls. You can listen here if you missed it on Wythenshawe Radio. Songs about Walls; the album of the week is Two Hearts by Mary Hopkin and Jessica Lee Morgan but that’s not all! The four lambs each picked a song to play.

[*] Sadly, the ink stamps on the stone faded very quickly, they’re totally illegible. So, if you do this hike, or any other similar one, don’t forget to take some paper so you can collect the stamps.