Carry on Cleaning

That would be a fantastic addition to the Carry On film franchise. Liesel was dancing around the bedroom this morning, dusting and tidying, trying to shut wardrobe doors that hadn’t been closed properly for years.

I thought, the least I could do was to get up and watch.

We went out for breakfast. Yes, the dishwasher was declared d, e, d, dead. So, to save on washing up, we went out for a nice walk and a huge breakfast at a greasy spoon called Jenny’s. Nothing to do with our very own Jenny, of course.

What else has gone wrong? Last night, plans for risotto were delayed slightly because the rice cooker didn’t work. It used to beep a greeting when plugged in, but last night, it was silent. I changed the fuse in the plug, just in case, but no.

At this rate, we’ll be taking very little with us when we move house.

Then this morning, I thought I heard the sound of Breaking Glass from the kitchen. Oh no, I thought to myself, here we go again. Luckily the vase that Liesel dropped didn’t actually smash.

So now, the rice cooker, along with a few other items, such as crates and a box of 500 plastic forks are being offered on Facebook and Freegle.

Yes, you read that right: 500 plastic forks. Well, alright, there might be a couple missing. But why did we have 500 plastic forks in the first place? Did we have a very large garden party one Summer to which nobody turned up? Nope.

The idea was to bury them in the garden, tines pointing upwards, our very own cat deterrent. We never pursued that project.

But this is how we acquire too much stuff: great ideas that turn out not to be so practical.

And now I’m on the computer selling or giving stuff away while Liesel is cleaning. I tell myself I am helping by keeping out of the way…



Time to Move On

It’s been a long time coming, but yes, we are going to move house. We have a solicitor ready to go, the estate agent’s photographer is coming round next week and suddenly, it’s real. Time to Move On.

The old house doesn’t want us to leave though. I’ve lived here for 32 years, over half my life, and I know it will be an emotionally stressful time for me. But I didn’t anticipate that the house itself would object.

So far, we have had to address the following issues:

  • The doorbell doesn’t work. The button is now sealed in outside the front door. The seal needs to be cut through before I can fix the button itself. I know exactly what to do, but I also know that the sealant will not look as good afterwards.
  • The electric heater in the office (aka storage room) (aka dump) worked for twenty minutes one day then blew a fuse and a trip switch tripped. The correct solution was to get a new radiator and have it professionally installed.
  • The curtain rail in the living room came down. The fittings, being really old plastic, shattered. Finding new ones was quite difficult and we resorted to eBay in the end. I only had to drill one new hole in the wall and, of course, I had to use the hand drill. Why? Because we’re trying to make the house look respectable and spacious and we have taken a lot of stuff up to the attic. Including the power tools which we didn’t think we’d need. Anyway, all done now, the curtain’s back up.
  • And yesterday, the dishwasher didn’t want to do its job. It was ok the previous day, but not a flicker of life yesterday. As I write, we’re waiting for a white goods engineer to come by and diagnose the problem. We’ll have to decide whether to repair it or to buy a new one.
  • The washing machine works, but it’s very old and very slow. We’re not taking it with us. The on/off switch doesn’t work. The kickboard has been kicked once too often and has now come off. And sometimes, it leaks.

But we really don’t want to buy new appliances now, just a short time before moving away.

Come on, old house, we do love you and we know the next people will love you too. They’ll look after you. Please don’t be cross with us and keep breaking things.




February 1st, 2018

Hello, good evening, welcome.

Bonjour, g’day, guten tag, hola, ciao, aloha, namaste, hallo, ahoy hoy, kia ora. I think that includes most of our friends and family here on Earth.

Everyone says hi.

Well, when I say everyone, I mean me and my wife. Mick and Liesel. Hi there! We have big plans,  and we feel that at least some of those plans should be documented as and when they come to fruition.

In previous years, February has been used for challenges. For instance, one year, I decided that February would be chocolate-free for me. I forgot that right in the middle of the month, we have Valentine’s Day and our wedding anniversary. Not very well thought out.

Last year, we decided to have a TV-free February. That was OK: we listened to lots of radio and long-neglected records. And on a couple of occasions, we spoke to each other. Of course, the downside was, in March, we had to catch up on all the drama series and documentaries we’d recorded. Again, not very well thought out.

So, why do we think our Big Plans will work out? Well, they will. Eventually, somehow. And when something goes wrong? One of us will write about it here.

Happy 2018, happy February!